A farmer, just arrived in town, was walking across the street and happened to notice a sign on a hardware store, “Cast Iron Sinks.”

He stood for a minute and then said, “Any fool knows that.”

Common sense is in spite of, not because of age.—­Lord Thurlow.

Common sense is instinct, and enough of it is genius.—­H.  W. Shaw.

COMMUNISM

We were talking to our friend O’Doul about politics, and he was calm enough until somebody announced himself “a violent radical.”

“I can stand for Socialism—­a little of it, anyway,” said O’Doul fiercely; “but it’s this Communism that makes me mad; I’m not going to stand for any form of government under which a man can come up to me and say, ’O’Doul, there are too many men just like you in New York.  You go out and live in Columbus.’”

A—­“Your communism is stupid.  If everything were divided today, in a very short time your portion would be gone.  What then?”

B—­“Divide again!”

COMMUTERS

Stationed at the Mont Sec observation post, near St. Mihiel, a French soldier was showing the scenery to a doughboy.

“I have been in this section ever since the beginning of the war,” he said.  “Back there is Commercy, where my home is.”

“I suppose you get home once in a while?” said the doughboy.

“Nearly every week,” was the response.

“Hell,” said the doughboy, thinking of his own home in South Bend, Ind.  Then, calling to a comrade, he added:  “Hey, buddie; here’s a guy what commutes to the war!”

FIRST COMMUTER—­“Do you have to take such an early train as this?”

SECOND COMMUTER—­“No.  But I find the earlier the train the less everybody cares to talk.”

COMPARISONS

MR. JOHNSON (indignantly)—­“Now see here, yo’!  Dat’s twice yo’ called me Jackson!  If yo’ don’t know no moah dan to confuse me wif dat wall-eyed, knock-kneed, bandy-legged, fiat-footed, paraletic nigger Jackson, we’ll call dis game right here!”

MR. PERSIMMONS—­“’Scuse me, Johnson-’scuse me!  Don’t draw a razor on me like Jackson did de other night wen I called him Johnson.  Yo’ two fellahs ain’t such a much alike ’cept in youah looks an general characteristics.  Dat’s all.”

It is said that Mr. Asquith has only once been known to laugh outright when on a public platform.  The record-making occasion was at a political meeting in Scotland.  The Premier was constantly being interrupted, one of the chief hecklers being a farmer wearing a large straw hat.  Suddenly from someone in the hall came a very personal remark concerning Mr. Asquith.

“Who said that?” he demanded, quickly.

There was sudden silence.  Then a man in the audience stood up, and, pointing to the farmer with the straw hat, shouted: