Boost, and the world boosts with you,
      Knock, and you’re on the shelf,
    For the world gets sick of the one who’ll kick
      And wishes he’d kick himself. 
    Boost, for your own achievements,
      Boost for the things sublime,
    For the one who is found on the topmost round,
      Is the Booster every time.

It takes no more time to boost a man than it does to knock him—­and think how much pleasanter for everybody.

BORROWERS

Mr. Tucker had unexpectedly come face to face with Mr. Cutting, from whom he had frequently borrowed money.

“Er—­aw—­what was the denomination of the bill you loaned me?” he asked nervously.

“Episcopalian, I guess,” said Mr. Cutting.  “At any rate, it keeps Lent very well.”

“There’s a friend in the outer office waiting for you, sir.”

“Here, James, take this $10 and keep it till I come back.”

ED—­“Have you forgotten you owe me five dollars?”

NED—­“No, not yet.  Give me time, and I will.”

Jenkins was always trying to borrow money, and his friends had begun to avoid him.

One morning he tackled an acquaintance in the street before the latter had a chance to escape.

“I say, old man,” began Jenkins, “I’m in a terrible fix.  I want some money badly, and I haven’t the slightest idea where on earth I’m going to get it from.”

“Glad to hear it, my boy,” returned the other promptly.  “I was afraid that you might have an idea you could borrow it from me.”

One of the shrewd lairds of Lanarkshire had evidently experienced the difficulties of collecting money lent to friends.

“Laird,” a neighbor accosted him one morning, “I need twenty poonds.  If ye’ll be guid enough to tak ma note, ye’ll hae yere money back agin in three months frae the day.”

“Nae, Donald,” replied the laird, “I canna do it.”

“But, laird, ye hae often done the like fer yere friends.”

“Nae, mon, I canna obleege ye.”

“But, laird—­”

“Will ye listen to me, Donald?  As soon as I took yere note ye’d draw the twenty poonds, would ye no?”

Donald could not deny that he would.

“I ken ye weel, Donald,” the laird continued, “and I ken that in three months ye’d nae be ready to pay me ma money.  Then, ye ken, we’d quarrel.  But if we’re to quarrel, Donald, I’d rather do it noo, when I hae ma twenty poonds in ma pocket.”

ASKER—­“Could you lend me a V?”

TELLIT—­“No, I couldn’t.”

ASKER—­“Have you a friend that would lend me a V?”

TELLIT—­“No.  I have not a friend to spare.”

“Has Owens ever paid back that $10 you loaned him a year ago?”

“Oh, yes; he borrowed $25 more from me last week and only took $15.”

An Oriental story tells us of a man who was asked to lend a rope to a neighbor.  His reply was that he was in need of the rope just then.