MARJORIE (disgustedly)—­“Oh, what’s the use, then; I get that anyway.”—­Life.

One day little Flora was taken to have an aching tooth removed.  That night, while she was saying her prayers, her mother was surprised to hear her say:  “And forgive us our debts as we forgive our dentists.”—­Everybody’s.

SMALL YOUTH—­“I ain’t goin’ to say my prayers tonight, mother.  I’m goin’ to take a chance.”—­Life.

Bobby had been taught to remember all his relatives when he said his prayers.  One night, as he knelt at his mother’s knee, he did not mention the name of a favorite aunt.

“Why, Bobby,” said the mother, “you didn’t say ’God bless Aunt Beatrice and make her happy.’”

“Well, mother,” replied the little boy, “I don’t have to say that any more.  Aunt Beatrice’s engaged.”

Two prominent senators, boyhood friends, were discussing how strict had been their early religious training and how they had departed from it in late years.  Said A to B:  “I don’t believe you even remember the Lord’s Prayer, do you?” B answered:  “Oh, yes, I do; I’m not such a backslider as that.”  Then A said:  “I’ll bet a dollar you cannot say the Lord’s Prayer straight through.”  B promptly declared that he would win that dollar and, after a moment’s thoughtful hesitation, repeated slowly: 

  Now I lay me down to sleep,
  I pray the Lord my soul to keep. 
  If I should die before I wake,
  I pray the Lord my soul to take.

“By Jove,” said A, “here is your dollar; I didn’t believe you could do it.”

“We’d have more prayers answered,” said Bishop Hoss, of Muskogee, “if we had more faith.”

“Too many of us are like Willie.  Willie, on a visit to his uncle’s in the country, admired a fine colt.

“‘Uncle, give me that colt, will you?’ he asked.

“‘Why, no, Willie,’ said his uncle.  ’That’s a very valuable colt, and I couldn’t afford to give him to you.  Do you want a colt so very badly?’

“‘I’d rather have a colt than anything else in the world,’ said Willie.

“‘Then,’ said his uncle.  ’I’ll tell you what you ought to do.  Since you want a colt that much, you ought to pray for one.  Whenever I want a thing I always pray for it, and then it is sure to come to me.’

“‘Is that so, uncle?’ said Willie, eagerly.  ’Won’t you please give me this colt, then, and pray for one for yourself?’”

An old darkey who was asked if, in his experience, prayer was ever answered, replied: 

“Well, sah! some pra’rs is ansud, an’ some isn’t—­’pends on wa’t you axes fo’.  Jest arter de wah, w’en it was mighty hard scratchin’ fo’ de cullud breddern, I ‘bsarved dat w’eneber I pway de Lord to sen’ one o’ Marse Peyton’s fat turkeys fo’ de old man, dere was no notis took ob de partition; but w’en I pway dat He would sen’ de ole man fo’ de turkey, de matter was t’ended to befo’ sun-up nex’ morning’, dead sartin.”