OCEAN TRAVEL

“Terribly rough, isn’t it?” said the stranger on the ocean liner.

“Wal,” replied the man from the farm, “’twouldn’t be so rough if the cap’n would only keep in the furrows!”

The storm was increasing in violence and some of the deck fittings had already been swept overboard when the captain decided to send up a signal of distress.  But hardly had the rocket burst over the ship when a solemn-faced passenger stepped on to the bridge.  “Captain,” he said, “I’d be the last man on earth to cast a damper on any man, but it seems to me that this is no time for letting off fireworks.”

PASSENGER (after first night on board ship)—­“I say, where have all my clothes vanished to?”

STEWARD—­“Where did you put them last night?”

PASSENGER—­“I folded them up carefully and put them in that cupboard over there.”

STEWARD—­“I see no cupboard, sir.”

PASSENGER—­“Are you blind, man?  I mean that one with the round glass door to it.”

STEWARD—­“Lor’ bless me, sir; that ain’t no cupboard.  That’s the porthole.”

OFFICE BOYS

Boss—­“Can’t you find something to do?”

OFFICE BOY—­“Gee whiz:  Am I expected to do the work and find it, too?”

A certain prominent lawyer of Toronto is in the habit of lecturing his office staff from the junior partner down, and Tommy, the office boy, comes in for his full share of the admonition.  That his words were appreciated was made evident to the lawyer by a conversation between Tommy and another office boy on the same floor, which he recently overheard.

“Wotcher wages?” asked the other boy.

“Ten thousand a year,” replied Tommy.

“Aw, g’wan!”

“Sure,” insisted Tommy, unabashed.  “Four dollars a week in cash an’ de rest in legal advice.”

“I can’t keep the visitors from coming up,” said the office boy, dejectedly, to the president.  “When I say you’re out they simply say they must see you.”

“Well,” said the president, “just tell them that’s what they all say.”

That afternoon there called at the office a young lady.  The boy assured her it was impossible to see the president.

“But I’m his wife,” said the lady.

“Oh, that’s what they all say,” said the boy.

Into the office of a business man rushed a bright faced lad.  For three minutes he waited and then began, to show signs of impatience.

“Excuse me, sir,” he said at length, “I’m in a hurry.”

“Well, what do you want?” asked the business man.

“A job!”

“But why the hurry?”

“Got to hurry,” replied the lad briefly.  “Left school yesterday, and haven’t struck anything suitable yet.  The only place where I can stay long is where they pay me for it.”

“How much do you want?”