And when the editor had read the report a whirling mass claiming to be the reporter was projected through the window and struck the street with a dull thud.

REPORTER—­“Madam, you may recollect that we printed yesterday your denial of having retracted the contradiction of your original statement.  Would you care to have us say that you were misquoted in regard to it.”—­Life.

As any reporter will tell you, the only place in a newspaper office where real toil is done is the city room.  Imagine our pleasure when we overheard one of the office boys saying:  “When I first came here I thought it was called the ‘sitting room.’  I said something about the sitting room one day to the city editor, and I thought he was going to throw me down the elevator shaft.”

“Can you make anything out of the news from Europe?”

“Easiest thing in the world.  I only read the newspapers every other day.  In this way I get a connected story of our side or the other and avoid the denials.”—­Puck.

ENGLISH NEWSIE (selling extras)—­“Better ’ave one and read about it now, sir; it might be contradicted in the morning.”—­Punch.

The reporter was sent to write up a charity ball.  His copy came in late and it was careless.  The editor reproved him the next day by quoting an extract: 

“Look here, Scribbler, what do you mean by this, ’Among the most beautiful girls was Alderman Horatio Dingley’?  Old Dingley ain’t a girl, you idiot!  He’s one of our principal shareholders.”

“I can’t help that,” returned the realistic reporter, “that’s where he was.”

  When Earth’s last paper is finished and the type is scrambled and
          pied,
  When the roar of the press becomes fainter and sheets are folded
          and dried;
  We shall rest, and Faith, we shall need it, for the way has been
          weary and long,
  And oft have we heard that chestnut, “Young man, you have quoted
          me wrong.”

The cub reporter was grinding out a marriage notice.  Finally he brought it up and laid it on the city editor’s desk: 

“Mr. and Mrs. Blank announce today the marriage of their daughter to take place next Monday—­”

“Huh,” grunted the editor, “you can’t say they announced a marriage yet to take place.”

Again the cub jabbed away at his typewriter.  And when he brought it back this time it read: 

“Mr. and Mrs. Blank predicted today the marriage of their daughter.”

“How many revolutions does the earth make in a day?  It’s your turn, Willie Smith.”

“You can’t tell, teacher, till you see the morning paper.”

See also Editors.

“NO”

No is one of the smallest words in the English language, and yet—­

It has brought about more heartaches than the war.

It has caused more children to shed tears than all the spankings in the world put together.