“Yassir, I knows dat, boss,” rejoined the darky; “but—­but she’s wuss dan I took her for.”

In one of the big base hospitals of the Army not long ago a new librarian was set to work by the American Library Association.  She was a very charming young woman, and very anxious to please all of her “customers,” tho some of them didn’t even wish to look at a book.  In her rounds she approached one of the patients and he declined to be interested in her wares.  At the next cot she stopped and offered its occupant a book.

“What’s it about?” the patient asked.

“Oh, this is ‘Bambi,’” said the librarian.  “It’s about a girl who married a man without his having anything to say about it.”

“Hold on there,” shouted the man who had declined all books.  He raised himself up on his elbow and reached out his hand.  “Give me that book.  It’s my autobiography.”

Miss SNOWFLAKE—­“What did Jim Jackson git married for?”

Miss WASHTUBB—­“Lawd only knows;—­he keeps right on workin’!”

The beautiful young woman interviewed a fortune-teller on the usual subjects.

“Lady,” said the clairvoyant, “you will visit foreign lands, and the courts of kings and queens.  You will conquer all rivals and marry the man of your choice.  He will be tall and dark and aristocratic looking.”

“And young?” interrupted the lady.

“Yes, and very rich.”

The beautiful lady grasped the fortune teller’s hands and pressed them hard.

“Thank you,” she said.  “Now tell me one thing more.  How shall I get rid of my present husband?”

Miss Milly was rather a talkative young lady.  Her bosom friend, having missed her for some time, called to find out the reason.

“No, mum, Miss Milly is not in,” the maid informed her.

“She has gone to the class.”

“Why, what class?” inquired the caller in surprize.

“Well, mum, you know Miss Milly is getting married soon, so she’s taking a course of lessons in domestic silence.”

Mrs. Peavish says that if it were to do over again, no man need ever ask for her hand until he had shown his.

In London they tell of a certain distinguished statesman who is an optimist on all points save marriage.

One afternoon this statesman was proceeding along a country road when he saw a cottager eating his supper alone in the road before his dwelling.

“Why, Henry,” asked the statesman, “why are you eating out here alone?”

“Well, sir, er—­” the man stammered, “the—­er—­chimney smokes.”

“That’s too bad,” said the statesman, his philanthropic sentiments at once being aroused.  “I’ll have it fixed for you.  Let’s have a look at it.”

And before the cottager could stay him the statesman proceeded to enter the cottage.  As soon as he had opened the door a broomstick fell upon his shoulders and a woman’s voice shrieked: