“Well, she is his own.  Everything else in his home he is paying for on the instalment plan.”

LADY VISITOR—­“Oh, Tommy, you have a nice new suit!”

TOMMY—­“Yes, I think the man pa bought it from is sorry he sold it. 
He’s always calling.”

INSURANCE, FIRE

THE MAN OF LAW—­“But, my dear madam, there is no insurance money for you to draw.  Your late husband never insured his life; he only had a policy against fire.”

THE WONDERFUL WIDOW—­“Precisely.  That is the very reason I had him cremated!”

A woman, wearing an anxious expression, called at an insurance office one morning.

“I understand,” she said, “that for five dollars I can insure my house for a thousand dollars.”

“Yes,” replied the agent, “that is right.”

“And,” continued the woman anxiously, “do you make any inquiries as to the origin of the fire?”

“Certainly,” was the prompt reply.

“Oh!” and she turned to leave the office, “I thought there was a catch in it somewhere.”

“I say, Jones, I want to insure my coal-yards against fire.  What would a policy for $20,000 cost?”

“What coal is it?  Same kind as you sent me last?”

“Yes.”

“I wouldn’t bother insuring it if I were you.  It won’t burn.”

When the agent brought Mrs. Tarley her fire-insurance policy he remarked that it would be well for her to make her first payment at once.

“How much will it be?” she asked.

“About $100.  Wait a minute and I’ll find the exact amount.”

“Oh, how tiresome!” she exclaimed.  “Tell the company to let it stand and deduct it from what they will owe me when the house burns down.”

INSURANCE, LIFE

“I wish you would tell me,” said the agent, who had been a long time on Mr. Snaggs’ trail, “what is your objection to having your life insured?”

“Well, I don’t mind telling you,” replied Snaggs.  “The idea of being more valuable dead than alive is distasteful to me.”

“What’s the matter, old man?  You look worried.”

“Well, to be honest with you, I am.  You know, I took out some life insurance last Thursday.”

“Yes,” replied the sympathetic friend, “but what has that to do with the wobegone expression on your face?”

“Well, the very next day after I had it written my wife bought a new cook-book.  Possibly it’s all right, but it certainly looks suspicious.”

MR. MANLEY—­“Well, my dear, I’ve had my life insured for five thousand dollars.”

MRS. MANLEY—­“How very sensible of you!  Now I sha’n’t have to keep telling you to be so careful every place you go.”

“How much life insurance do you think a man ought to carry?”

“Enough to keep his family from want, but not so much as to make them utterly impervious to grief.”