HONESTY

“No,” said the old man, sternly.  “I will not do it.  Never have I sold anything by false representation, and I will not begin now.”

For a moment he was silent, and the clerk who stood before him could see that the better nature of his employer was fighting strongly for the right.

“No,” said the old man, again.  “I will not do it.  It is an inferior grade of shoe, and I will never pass it off as anything better.  Mark it, ‘A Shoe Fit for a Queen,’ and put it in the window.  A queen does not have to do much walking.”

George, the elderly waiter, entered the office of the famous solicitor who usually lunched at his table in a certain restaurant and asked to see the chief.

“Well, George,” asked the man of law, when the waiter was shown in, “what can I do for you?  In trouble?”

“No, sir, not exactly that; but I’ve got a chance of a good job at the Hotel Splendide, and I was wondering if you’d be so kind as to write me a testimonial, saying I’m a good waiter, and honest, and so forth, sir?”

“Well, George, of course I know you’re a good waiter, but I don’t know anything else about you.  How do I know, for example, that you’re honest?”

“Oh, well, I am, sir!  You’ll be quite safe in saying that.”

“Very good.  I’ll write it, then.”

“Thank you very much indeed, sir!  And if at any time you come to the Splendide and want a good lunch or dinner, be sure to come to my tables, and I’ll make you out a bill at half-price.”

  Aye, sir:  to be honest, as this world goes, is to be one man
          pick’d out of two thousand.—­Shakespeare.

Two piles of apples lay on the ground.  One contained a large-sized and rosy selection; the fruit of the other was green and small.

“Large on the top, sir, and small at the bottom?” inquired the new assistant of his master, as he prepared to fill a barrel.

“Certainly not!” replied the farmer, virtuously.  “Honesty is the best policy, my boy.  Put the little apples at the top, and the large ones at the bottom.”

The assistant complied.  His master was evidently as green as his greenest fruit.

“Is the barrel full, my lad?” asked the farmer.

“Yes,” answered the assistant.

“Good.” said the farmer, “Now turn it upside down and label it!”

The man who fails to keep his word, soon finds that he cannot give his word.

“Do you believe honesty is the best policy?” “Well, it has the deferred dividend feature.”

A Vermonter had returned home after a visit to Boston.  Someone asked him what he thought of the big city.

“It’s a fine place, all right, but the folks there ain’t honest,” he replied.

“Not honest!  Where’d you get that idea?”

“Why, I bought a roll of pins there labeled ’A Hundred Pins for Five Cents,’ and coming home on the train I counted them; they were eleven short.”