—­Shelley.

EXTRAVAGANCE

“What made you a multi-millionaire?”

“My wife.”

“Ah, her tactful help—­”

“Nothing like that.  I was simply curious to know if there was any income she couldn’t live beyond.”

  The man who builds, and wants wherewith to pay,
  Provides a home from which to run away.

  —­Young.

FAILURES

BROWN—­“Back to town again?  I thought you were a farmer.”

GREEN—­“You made the same mistake I did.”—­Judge.

There are people who fail because they are afraid to make a beginning.  Who are too honest to steal, but will borrow and never pay back.  Who go to bed tired because they spend the day in looking for an easy place.  Who can play a tune on one string, but it never makes anybody want to dance.  Who would like to reform the world, but have a front gate that won’t stay shut.  Who cannot tell what they think about anything until they see what the papers have to say about it.

A first failure is often a blessing.—­A.  L. Brown.

To fail at all is to fail utterly.—­Lowell.

He only is exempt from failures who makes no efforts.—­Whately.

FAME

After an absence of four years a certain man went back to visit his old home town.  The first four people he met didn’t remember him and the next three didn’t know he had been away.

“That antagonist of yours says he is going to leave footprints in the sands of time.”

“He won’t,” replied Senator Sorghum.  “His mind is in the clouds.  He is an intellectual aviator.  When he comes down he will leave a dent, not a footprint.”

  Nor fame I slight, nor for her favors call: 
  She comes unlooked for, if she comes at all.

  —­Pope.

For what is fame, but the benignant strength of one, transformed to joy of many?—­George Eliot.

Fame is the fragrance of heroic deeds.—­Longfellow.

FAMILIES

A Kansas man is reported to be the father of thirty-two children.  It is not known whether he will apply for admission to the League of Nations or just let America represent him for the present.—­Punch (London).

A census-taker was working in lower New York on the East Side, and came to a tenement that was literally crowded with children.  To the woman who was bending over the washtub he said: 

“Madam, I am the census-taker; how many children have you?”

“Well, lemme see,” replied the woman, as she straightened up and wiped her hands on her apron.  “There’s Mary and Ellen and Delia and Susie and Emma and Tommy and Albert and Eddie and Charlie and Frank and—­”