DEAR, KIND, GOOD MR. PUNCH,—­The reason is obvious—­the men don’t and won’t propose to the right girls.  Take my own case.  I’ve just stayed three weeks with the COOL-CHEEKS, and felt quite certain BERTIE would have proposed.  He had all the symptoms badly.  I saw him give his little brother half-a-crown to go indoors for ten minutes, and the way he would go in the summer-house and for long walks—­with me—­made it quite clear (as I thought) what was going to happen.  Yet, he let me come away without a word!  I’m sure I don’t want to run after him (or anybody else), but I did think he meant something.  We suited one another admirably.  In fact, if he doesn’t ask me with all the opportunities he had, he’d ask no one.

Yours, just-a-little-disappointed, ETHEL TRINKERTON,

The Thorns, Bayswater.

P.S.—­He carried my umbrella almost hourly—­and you know what that means.  If BERTIE was only nervous, and would like another chance—­well, we are always at home on Sunday afternoons.—­E.T.

* * * * *

[Illustration:  A REAL CONVERT.

Local Preacher (giving an account to the Vicar of the Parish of a dispute he has had with the Leading Lights of his Sect).  “YES, SIR, AFTER TREATMENT THE LIKES O’ THAT, I SAYS TO ’EM, ‘FOR THE FUTURE,’ SAYS I, ‘I CHUCKS UP ALL RELIGION, AND I GOES TO CHURCH!’”]

* * * * *

A HINT TO EDITORS.

    SCENE—­The Sanctum of a Newspaper Office.  Editor discovered
    (by Obtrusive Visitor) hard at work.

Obtrusive Visitor.  I trust that I have not come at an unfortunate moment?

Editor (looking up from his desk).  Dear me!  You here!  Delighted to see you.  But don’t let me disturb you.  Good-bye!

Ob.  Vis. (seating himself).  No; I am afraid it is the other way.  I know at this time of the week you must be exceptionally busy.

Ed. (with courteous impatience).  Not at all, but—­

Ob.  Vis. Oh! thank you so much.  Because it is the very last thing in the world I would like to do—­to disturb you.  And now, how are you?

Ed. Quite well, thanks.  But now, if you don’t mind, I will just finish.

    [Turns to go on with his article.

Ob.  Vis. (rejecting the hint).  I said to myself as I came along, Now I will look him up.

Ed. Very kind of you, but—­

Ob.  Vis. Oh, not in the least; and you know, my dear fellow, how I enjoy a chat.

Ed. Yes,—­and I, too.  But just now—­

Ob.  Vis. Quite so.  You want me to do all the talking, as we haven’t met for the last three weeks.  Well, you must know we have been to Herne Bay, and—­

Ed. Yes; charming place.  But just now I am—­