These fooleries put the king into such good humour that he was more witty in his speech than ordinary.  Some of these sayings have been recorded, and amongst the rest that well-known quibble which has been the origin of an absurd mistake, still current through the county, respecting the sirloin.  It is said to have been knighted there by his Majesty, who found, such were his knight-making propensities, that other subjects were exhausted.

The occasion, as far as we have been able to gather, was thus:—­Whilst he sat at meat, casting his eyes upon a noble surloin at the lower end of the table, he cried out—­

“Bring hither that surloin, sirrah, for ’tis worthy of a more honourable post, being, as I may say, not surloin but sirloin, the noblest joint of all;” which ridiculous and desperate pun raised the wisdom and reputation of England’s Solomon to the highest.

Great was the stir and preparation for the evening masque; a pageant containing many allegories and devices; dancing and merry games, with all other “lawful recreations and honest amusements.”  Little heed was given, we fear, to their Maker’s service, these vain follies running in the heads and filling the thoughts of the few who chose to attend in the chapel; the greater portion were preparing for the entertainment, into which service they entered heartily, and without grudge.

Sir George Goring and Sir John Finett were verily indefatigable on the occasion, drilling and marshalling men, women, and children; conning their lessons, and correcting the awkward and ridiculous movements and mistakes of their pupils.  Hobbe and the house steward were the foremost in their parts, having important functions allotted to them; one to grunt and howl in the similitude of a huge bear, and the other to roar in lieu of a lion, before the “Bower of Beautie” for such was the title or motto of the pageant.  Nor was Sir John lacking in due homage to his mistress; she was appointed to enact “The Queen of Beautie.”  It was after much solicitation that she consented, receiving with great gravity and attention the instructions of her accomplished preceptor.

The day was nigh spent and the sun fast sinking on the ocean, now waiting with a chariot of flame to conduct him to other skies.

Grace was just finishing her toilet, and her maid adjusting the last plait in her head-dress, when a low and guarded knock announced a visitor.  The door was slightly opened, when a messenger threw in a gay billet and departed.  It was superscribed thus:—­“To the Fairest, These.”

With a quickened pulse and a tremulous hand, she glanced over the page, elaborately penned as follows:—­

     “The Bower of Beautie hath a snake; beware that he come not nigh
     thee, for his tooth has venom, and his tail a sting.

     “From the mask with the black visard and silver mantle.

     “THESE.”