About this time he again felt the hand of affliction, though it did not continue long.  Yet it was plain to him now that personal trouble was to be one of the ingredients of that experience which helped to give a peculiar tone to his ministry.

“July 8.—­Since Tuesday have been laid up with illness.  Set by once more for a season to feel my unprofitableness and cure my pride.  When shall this self-choosing temper be healed?  ’Lord, I will preach, run, visit, wrestle,’ said I.  ‘No, thou shalt lie in thy bed and suffer,’ said the Lord.  To-day missed some fine opportunities of speaking a word for Christ.  The Lord saw I would have spoken as much for my own honor as his, and therefore shut my mouth. I see a man cannot be a faithful minister, until he preaches Christ for Christ’s sake—­until he gives up striving to attract people to himself, and seeks only to attract them to Christ.  Lord, give me this!  To-night some glimpses of humbling, and therefore some wrestling in social prayer.  But my prayers are scarcely to be called prayer.”  Then, in the evening:  “This day my brother has been five years absent from the body and present with the Lord, and knows more and loves more than all earthly saints together.  Till the day break and the shadows flee away, turn, my Beloved!”

“July 10.—­I fear I am growing more earthly in some things.  To-day I felt a difficulty in bringing in spiritual conversation immediately after preaching, when my bosom should be burning.  Excused myself from dining out from other than the grand reason; though checked and corrected myself.  Evening—­Insensibly slid into worldly conversation.  Let these things be corrected in me, O Lord, by the heart being more filled with love to Jesus, and more ejaculatory prayer.”

“July 17, Sabbath.—­Oh that I may remember my own word this day:  that the hour of communion is the hour for the foxes—­the little foxes—­to spoil the wine.  Two things that defile this day in looking back, are love of praise running through all, and consenting to listen to worldly talk at all.  Oh that these may keep me humble and be my burden, leading me to the cross.  Then, Satan, thou wilt be outwitted!”

“July 19.—­Died, this day, W. M’Cheyne, my cousin-german, Relief minister, Kelso.  Oh how I repent of our vain controversies on Establishments when we last met, and that we spoke so little of Jesus!  Oh that we had spoken more one to another!  Lord, teach me to be always speaking as dying to dying.”

“July 24.—­Dunipace Communion—­Heard Mr. Purves of Jedburgh preach, ’Therefore with joy shall ye draw water out of the wells of salvation.’  The only way to come to ordinances, and to draw from the well, is to come with the matter of acceptance settled, believing God’s anger to be turned away.  Truly a precious view of the freeness of the gospel very refreshing.  My soul needs to be roused much to apprehend this truth.”