Ham. 
Ha, ha! are you honest?

Oph. 
My lord?

Ham. 
Are you fair?

Oph. 
What means your lordship?

Ham. 
That if you be honest and fair, your honesty should admit no
discourse to your beauty.

Oph. 
Could beauty, my lord, have better commerce than with honesty?

Ham.  Ay, truly; for the power of beauty will sooner transform honesty from what it is to a bawd than the force of honesty can translate beauty into his likeness:  this was sometime a paradox, but now the time gives it proof.  I did love you once.

Oph. 
Indeed, my lord, you made me believe so.

Ham.  You should not have believ’d me; for virtue cannot so inoculate our old stock but we shall relish of it:  I loved you not.

Oph. 
I was the more deceived.

Ham.  Get thee to a nunnery:  why wouldst thou be a breeder of sinners?  I am myself indifferent honest; but yet I could accuse me of such things that it were better my mother had not borne me:  I am very proud, revengeful, ambitious; with more offences at my beck than I have thoughts to put them in, imagination to give them shape, or time to act them in.  What should such fellows as I do crawling between earth and heaven?  We are arrant knaves, all; believe none of us.  Go thy ways to a nunnery.  Where’s your father?

Oph. 
At home, my lord.

Ham. 
Let the doors be shut upon him, that he may play the fool
nowhere but in’s own house.  Farewell.

Oph. 
O, help him, you sweet heavens!

Ham.  If thou dost marry, I’ll give thee this plague for thy dowry,—­ be thou as chaste as ice, as pure as snow, thou shalt not escape calumny.  Get thee to a nunnery, go:  farewell.  Or, if thou wilt needs marry, marry a fool; for wise men know well enough what monsters you make of them.  To a nunnery, go; and quickly too.  Farewell.

Oph. 
O heavenly powers, restore him!

Ham.  I have heard of your paintings too, well enough; God hath given you one face, and you make yourselves another:  you jig, you amble, and you lisp, and nickname God’s creatures, and make your wantonness your ignorance.  Go to, I’ll no more on’t; it hath made me mad.  I say, we will have no more marriages:  those that are married already, all but one, shall live; the rest shall keep as they are.  To a nunnery, go.

[Exit.]

Oph. 
O, what a noble mind is here o’erthrown! 
The courtier’s, scholar’s, soldier’s, eye, tongue, sword,
The expectancy and rose of the fair state,
The glass of fashion and the mould of form,
The observ’d of all observers,—­quite, quite down! 
And I, of ladies most deject and wretched
That suck’d the honey of his music vows,
Now see that noble and most sovereign reason,
Like sweet bells jangled, out of tune and harsh;
That unmatch’d form and feature of blown youth
Blasted with ecstasy:  O, woe is me,
To have seen what I have seen, see what I see!