Alas!  I replied—­when have you found me slow to obey your voice—­some times indeed I have called you & you have not come—­but when before have I not followed your slightest sign and have left what was either of joy or sorrow in our world to dwell with you in yours till you have dismissed me ever unwilling to depart—­But now the weight of grief that oppresses me takes from me that lightness which is necessary to follow your quick & winged motions alas in the midst of my course one thought would make me droop to the ground while you would outspeed me to your Kingdom of Glory & leave me here darkling

Ungrateful! replied the Spirit Do I not tell you that I will sustain & console you My wings shall aid your heavy steps & I will command my winds to disperse the mist that over casts you—­I will lead you to a place where you will not hear laughter that disturbs you or see the sun that dazzles you—­We will choose some of the most sombre walks of the Elysian fields—­

The Elysian fields—­I exclaimed with a quick scream—­shall I then see?  I gasped & could not ask that which I longed to know—­the friendly spirit replied more gravely—­I have told you that you will not see those whom you mourn—­But I must away—­follow me or I must leave you weeping deserted by the spirit that now checks your tears—­

Go—­I replied I cannot follow—­I can only sit here & grieve—­& long to see those who are gone for ever for to nought but what has relation to them can I listen—­

The spirit left me to groan & weep to wish the sun quenched in eternal darkness—­to accuse the air the waters all—­all the universe of my utter & irremediable misery—­Fantasia came again and ever when she came tempted me to follow her but as to follow her was to leave for a while the thought of those loved ones whose memories were my all although they were my torment I dared not go—­Stay with me I cried & help me to clothe my bitter thoughts in lovelier colours give me hope although fallacious & images of what has been although it never will be again—­diversion I cannot take cruel fairy do you leave me alas all my joy fades at thy departure but I may not follow thee—­

One day after one of these combats when the spirit had left me I wandered on along the banks of the river to try to disperse the excessive misery that I felt untill overcome by fatigue—­my eyes weighed down by tears—­I lay down under the shade of trees & fell asleep—­I slept long and when I awoke I knew not where I was—­I did not see the river or the distant city—­but I lay beside a lovely fountain shadowed over by willows & surrounded by blooming myrtles—­at a short distance the air seemed pierced by the spiry pines & cypresses and the ground was covered by short moss & sweet smelling heath—­the sky was blue but not dazzling like that of Rome and on every side I saw long allies—­clusters of trees with intervening lawns & gently stealing rivers—­Where am I? [I] exclaimed—­& looking around me