Right you are.  Allow me to introduce to your Highness, Mr. Schercl—­Mr.
Schercl, the Maharajah of Slamthedoor.

(Exit R.)

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

Allah Bismillah Pottamarmala Goo!

HENRICH SCHERCL (aside).

He’s swearing again. (Aloud.) I am sorry your Royal Highness has been kept waiting.  These artists are such gurious people.  Your Highness broboses to buy bictures, yes?

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

I have built a new palace at Slamthedoor, and I must have, of course, some pictures for my galleries.

ROSALINE.

Does your Highness want any slaves too?

HENRICH SCHERCL.

(Aside to ROSALINE.) Go away, girl—­go away!  One deal at a time! (Aloud) May I make so bold as to enquire the size of the new palace, Oh glorious One? (Salaams.) (Aside.) I think that is right!

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

The size?  It is no bigger than my other one—­it is about four times as large as your Buckingham Palace.

HENRICH SCHERCL.

Great heavens!  And you will have a vast picture gallery, Oh Light of my
Eyes!

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

Five—­five picture galleries, and I desire to fill them.  That is why I am looking up these artists.  My cousin the Maharajah of Battledore has given me several introductions.

ROSALINE.

Doesn’t your Royal Highness want any slaves?  Ye before whose radiance the sun pales and the stars grow dim—­no slaves?

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

Can you dance, damsel, as I would see you?

HENRICH SCHERCL.

(Aside to ROSALINE.) Go away—­go away—­go away.  Oh, demmit, will you go away! (Salaaming.) Most Serene One—­

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

Proceed.  But be quick—­I am impatient to be gone.  Allah Bismillah, be quick!

HENRICH SCHERCL (aside).

What a temper he’s got! (Aloud.) Be guided by your servant.  I have your Royal Highness’s interest at heart. (Aside.) Also my own. (Aloud.) These bainters are so queer—­they do not understand business at all, at all.  Nach, they know nothing about it—­at least very few of them.  The less you have to do with them directly the better for your Royal Highness.  If your Royal Highness wishes to fill the picture galleries of your new palace I’ll take on the job at contract.  I’ll save you sixty per cent, s’welp me!

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

That is very kind of you.  Why should you do it?

HENRICH SCHERCL.

Well, your Royal Highness, I was struck by your demeanour and to tell your Royal Highness the truth, except with the Brince of Westphalia I have never done any business with royal families before.

ROSALINE (aside.)

Modest violet!  There’s nothing like being frank!