As a what!

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

I was a mandarin when your wife came in—­I thought it best—­and this ex-mash of yours took advantage of me, and smacked my face.

CHARLES SYLVESTER.

(To ROSALINE.) I tell you what it is,—­I think you had better go.  You had better be off—­I can’t have you here.

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

I quite agree. I don’t want her—­she is more trouble than she is worth.

ROSALINE.

You are very rude to me, both of you. (To CHARLES SYLVESTER.) Your manners have not improved with matrimony, my friend.

CHARLES SYLVESTER.

I am not going to discuss my manners—­

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

No, he is not going to discuss his manners.

CHARLES SYLVESTER.

The point is—­

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

The point is—­git!

ROSALINE.

The point is that if you don’t ask me properly, I shall do nothing of the kind.  Now you’ve got it.

CHARLES SYLVESTER.

(To REMBRANDT TEMPENNY angrily.) What the devil do you mean by bringing such a firebrand here?

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

Now don’t lose your temper again. (To ROSALINE.) Will you go?

ROSALINE.

No, I won’t.

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

That settles it. (The two men look at each other helplessly.)

(Enter SARAH ANN.)

SARAH ANN.

If you please, sir, there is a gentleman downstairs who wants to see
Mr. Tempenny.

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

Me?  What’s his name?  What does he want?

SARAH ANN.

He says his name is Mr. Schercl.

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

I’m out.  Go and tell him so.  It only wanted this to complete my happiness.  I won’t see him, do you hear?

SARAH ANN.

If you please the gentleman said he must see you, but if you was engaged, he’d wait.

CHARLES SYLVESTER.

You won’t get rid of old Schercl in a hurry, if he has advanced you any of the “ready.”

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

Tell him I’m out.  Then let him come up if he likes.

CHARLES SYLVESTER.

What are you going to do?

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

I am going to dissemble.  I am going to be an Eastern potentate, and I am going to spoof the old boy. (To SARAH ANN.) Menial, slope! (To CHARLES SYLVESTER.) Help me.

ROSALINE.

This is the rummiest studio that ever I was in!

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

Yes, originality is what we pride ourselves on. (He disguises himself as the Maharajah of Slamthedoor.)

CHARLES SYLVESTER.

And what am I to do?

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

You must be very deferential.  I think you had better salaam when you speak to me.  Try it.