[Exit.]

Host.
Thou art clerkly, thou art clerkly, Sir John.  Was there a wise
woman with thee?

Falstaff.  Ay, that there was, mine host; one that hath taught me more wit than ever I learned before in my life; and I paid nothing for it neither, but was paid for my learning.

[Enter Bardolph.]

Bardolph. 
Out, alas, sir! cozenage, mere cozenage!

Host.
Where be my horses?  Speak well of them, varletto.

Bardolph.  Run away, with the cozeners; for so soon as I came beyond Eton, they threw me off, from behind one of them, in a slough of mire; and set spurs and away, like three German devils, three Doctor Faustuses.

Host.
They are gone but to meet the Duke, villain; do not say they be
fled; Germans are honest men.

[Enter sir Hugh Evans.]

Evans. 
Where is mine host?

Host.
What is the matter, sir?

Evans.  Have a care of your entertainments:  there is a friend of mine come to town tells me there is three cozen-germans that has cozened all the hosts of Readins, of Maidenhead, of Colebrook, of horses and money.  I tell you for good will, look you; you are wise, and full of gibes and vlouting-stogs, and ’tis not convenient you should be cozened.  Fare you well.

[Exit.]

[Enter doctor caius.]

Caius. 
Vere is mine host de Jarteer?

Host.
Here, Master Doctor, in perplexity and doubtful dilemma.

Caius.  I cannot tell vat is dat; but it is tell-a me dat you make grand preparation for a Duke de Jamany.  By my trot, dere is no duke that the court is know to come; I tell you for good will:  Adieu.

[Exit.]

Host.
Hue and cry, villain, go!  Assist me, knight; I am undone.  Fly,
run, hue and cry, villain; I am undone!

[Exeunt host and Bardolph.]

Falstaff.  I would all the world might be cozened, for I have been cozened and beaten too.  If it should come to the ear of the court how I have been transformed, and how my transformation hath been washed and cudgelled, they would melt me out of my fat, drop by drop, and liquor fishermen’s boots with me; I warrant they would whip me with their fine wits till I were as crest-fallen as a dried pear.  I never prospered since I forswore myself at primero.  Well, if my wind were but long enough to say my prayers, I would repent.

[Enter mistress quickly.]

Now! whence come you?

Quickly. 
From the two parties, forsooth.

Falstaff.  The devil take one party and his dam the other!  And so they shall be both bestowed.  I have suffered more for their sakes, more than the villainous inconstancy of man’s disposition is able to bear.