* * * * *

“GREAT SCOTT!”—­Mr. Punch’s congratulations to the new Bart. of Scott’s Bank, Cavendish Square, with the classic name of HORACE.  His friends will be able to adapt MACAULAY’s lines, and tell—­

  “How well HORATIUS kept the Bank,
  In the brave days of old.”

Of course, be it understood that “keeping the Bank” has nothing whatever to do with Monte Carlo, or with any game of speculation. Ad multos annos! And to adapt again—­

  “On HORACE’s head Honours accumulate!”

* * * * *

BALFOUR AND SALISBURY.—­The late Government couldn’t help having a good dash of spirit in it, seeing it was a “B. and S.” mixture.  Now, “B. and S.”—­off! Vide Mr. Punch’s Cartoon this week.

* * * * *

[Illustration:  NEVER SATISFIED.

Grumpy Husband. “HOW BADLY INFORMED NEWSPAPERS ARE!  WHY, HERE THEY SAY, ’SIR THOMAS GRIMSBY ENTERTAINED US AND A NUMBER OF OTHERS AT DINNER LAST NIGHT!’ ENTERTAINED!  WHY, I NEVER WAS SO BORED IN MY LIFE!”]

* * * * *

IN OFFICE WITH THE LABOUR VOTE.

(HOW TO DEAL WITH AN AWKWARD MATTER, ACCORDING TO PRECEDENT.)

    SCENE—­A Smoking-Room and Lounge.  Eminent Statesman
    discovered filling a pipe.  Private Secretary in
    attendance.

Em.  S. Now I think all’s ready to begin.  Mind, my lad, and have the tea and decanters in readiness when I ring for them.  Enough chairs?

Pri.  Sec. Only half-a-dozen expected, Sir; so I thought if I got six that would be enough.

Em.  S. Quite so.  And now, my dear fellow, show in the Deputation.

    [Private Secretary opens door, when enter several Workmen in
    their Sunday best, headed by Fussy M.P.

Fussy M.P. (with effusion).  My dear Sir, this is a great pleasure.  I hope I see you well. (Shakes the hand of Eminent Statesman with profuse cordiality.) And now, if you will allow me, I will introduce these Delegates.  It would have pleased them better if they could have had an Autumn Session, but they are quite prepared to be satisfied with an interview, as it is in the Recess. (Speaking in the soft tones of the House at Westminster.) Sir!  My Right Hon. Friend!  It is my privilege as well as my duty—­a most pleasant one—­to introduce what I may aptly declare to be the most representative body of men it has ever been my good fortune to meet.  I, my dear Sir—­

Em.  S. (interrupting).  Thank you very much, but I fancy we can get on better by talking it over quietly.  It’s very hot, so if you don’t mind, I will take off my coat and sit in my shirt-sleeves.

[Illustration]

    [Removes his coat.

Fussy.  M.P. (taken aback).  My dear Sir!