This may provoke a smile from some who profess to be the friends of the slave, but who have a lower estimate of experimental Christianity than I believe is due to it; but I am not the less confident that sincere prayer to God, proceeding from a few hearts deeply imbued with experimental Christianity about that time, has had much to do with subsequent happy results.  At that time the 800,000 bondmen in the British Isles had not seen the beginning of the end of their sufferings—­at that time, 20,000 who are now free in Canada, were in bonds—­at that time, there was no Vigilance Committee to aid the flying slave—­at that time, the two powerful Anti-Slavery Societies of America had no being.

I distinctly remember that I felt the need of enlisting the sympathy of God, in behalf of my enslaved brethren; but when I attempted it day after day, and night after night, I was made to feel, that whatever else I might do, I was not qualified to do that, as I was myself alienated from him by wicked works.  In short, I felt that I needed the powerful aid of some in my behalf with God, just as much as I did that of my dear friend in Pennsylvania, when flying from man.  “If one man sin against another, the judge shall judge him, but if a man sin against God, who shall entreat for him?”

Day after day, for about two weeks, I found myself more deeply convicted of personal guilt before God.  My heart, soul and body were in the greatest distress; I thought of neither food, drink or rest, for days and nights together.  Burning with a recollection of the wrongs man had done me—­mourning for the injuries my brethren were still enduring, and deeply convicted of the guilt of my own sins against God.  One evening, in the third week of the struggle, while alone in my chamber, and after solemn reflection for several hours, I concluded that I could never be happy or useful in that state of mind, and resolved that I would try to become reconciled to God.  I was then living in the family of an Elder of the Presbyterian Church.  I had not made known my feelings to any one, either in the family or out of it; and I did not suppose that any one had discovered my feelings.  To my surprise, however, I found that the family had not only been aware of my state for several days, but were deeply anxious on my behalf.  The following Sabbath, Dr. Cox was on a visit in Brooklyn to preach, and was a guest in the family; hearing of my case, he expressed a wish to converse with me, and without knowing the plan, I was invited into a room and left alone with him.  He entered skilfully and kindly into my feelings, and after considerable conversation he invited me to attend his service that afternoon.  I did so, and was deeply interested.

Without detaining the reader with too many particulars, I will only state that I heard the doctor once or twice after this, at his own place of worship in New York City, and had several personal interviews with him, as the result of which, I hope, I was brought to a saving acquaintance with Him, of whom Moses in the Law and the Prophets did write; and soon connected myself with the church under his pastoral care.