Skinner. “FROM THE OUTSIDE OR THE INSIDE?”]

* * * * *

FROM A FULL HEART.

In days of peace my fellow-men
Rightly regarded me as more like
A Bishop than a Major-Gen.,
And nothing since has made me warlike;
But when this age-long struggle ends
And I have seen the Allies dish up
The goose of HINDENBURG—­oh, friends! 
I shall out-bish the mildest Bishop.

When the War is over and the KAISER’s out of print, I’m going to buy some tortoises and watch the beggars sprint; When the War is over and the sword at last we sheathe, I’m going to keep a jelly-fish and listen to it breathe.

I never really longed for gore,
And any taste for red corpuscles
That lingered with me left before
The German troops had entered Brussels. 
In early days the Colonel’s “’Shun!”
Froze me; and, as the War grew older,
The noise of someone else’s gun
Left me considerably colder.

When the War is over and the battle has been won, I’m going to buy a barnacle and take it for a run; When the War is over and the German Fleet we sink, I’m going to keep a silk-worm’s egg and listen to it think.

The Captains and the Kings depart—­
It may be so, but not lieutenants;
Dawn after weary dawn I start
The never-ending round of penance;
One rock amid the welter stands
On which my gaze is fixed intently—­
An after-life in quiet lands
Lived very lazily and gently.

When the War is over and we’ve done the Belgians proud, I’m going to keep a chrysalis and read to it aloud; When the War is over and we’ve finished up the show, I’m going to plant a lemon-pip and listen to it grow.

Oh, I’m tired of the noise and the turmoil of battle,
And I’m even upset by the lowing of cattle,
And the clang of the bluebells is death to my liver,
And the roar of the dandelion gives me a shiver,
And a glacier, in movement, is much too exciting,
And I’m nervous, when standing on one, of alighting—­
Give me Peace; that is all, that is all that I seek ... 

        Say, starting on Saturday week.

A.A.M.

* * * * *

THINGS THAT MATTER IN WAR-TIME.

    “Among the audience the Duchess of ——­’s slim height and long neck,
    swathed in sables, stood out.”—­Evening Standard.

    “Mrs. ——­ was looking beautiful in a bottle-green suiting, collared
    with skunk, but a little thin, I thought.”—­Daily Sketch.

* * * * *

“King Albert of Belgium made a long aeroplane flight, under fire, over the fighting front....  German anti-aircraft guns kept up a sustained fire, but no German airman ventured in the way of the King’s aeog rogartb-habtheb habtheb habtha aeroplane.”—­Vancouver Daily Province.

It is rumoured that the Air Board has already ordered a number of machines of the new type.