Mr. IRVING has made a clearance of certain parts of Hamlet which interfere with the movement of its story.  Actuated by old-fashioned motives and writing for a public that was not yet wholly lacking in discrimination, SHAKSPEARE did his best to make Hamlet a poetical as well as a dramatic tragedy.  With this end in view he accumulated the mass of rhetoric with which we are now so familiar.  It as been Mr. IRVING’s task to prune this well-meant but somewhat excessive verbiage so that the real dramatic stuff can at last “get over.”  But he has done no more.  Any rumour to the effect that he has introduced American songs or dances, or that a “joy plank” bisects the stalls of the Savoy is untrue and deserves the severest denial.

One of Mr. Punch’s livest although middle-aged wires, who has been interviewing the great managers of the Metropolis—­and by great he means those most likely to become revivalists—­says that it is the same tale with all.  For example, Mr. FRED TERRY, interviewed at his home near the Zoo, in his study furnished with the works of all the greatest writers, from the Baroness ORCZY to HAVELOCK ELLIS, admitted that it was perfectly true that he was contemplating a revival of The Three Musketeers, with certain alterations to bring it into line with modern taste in warrior heroes.

“To-day,” said Mr. TERRY, “as you may have noticed, soldiers wear khaki.  Very well then, the musketeers shall wear khaki.  They shall also be transformed into Englishmen and be made recognisable and friendly.  Thus D’Artagnan will become an airman, Aramis a padre with fighting instincts, Athos a general, and Porthos an officer in the A.S.C.  A certain amount of re-writing and adjusting is necessary, but that will come.”

In order to find Mr. GEORGE GROSSMITH, of the old firm of Grossmith and Laurillard, who is now, as all the world, and especially Germany, knows, a conning-tower of strength in the Navy, it is necessary to visit the North Sea; but Mr. Punch’s middle-aged men stick at nothing.

“Yes,” said Mr. GROSSMITH, “we are doing The Bells.  Mr. IRVING has kindly leased it to us.  But we are not adhering too slavishly to the plot, nor does he wish us to; and, in fact, we have turned the part made so famous by Mr. IRVING’S father into something a shade more droll, to suit Mr. LESLIE HENSON, than whom, I take the liberty of thinking,”—­here the young officer saluted—­“no funnier comedian now walks the boards.  We are also changing the title from The Bells to The Belles, as being more in keeping with Gaiety traditions.  But I must ask you to excuse me; I fancy Sir DAVID BEATTY wants me.”