***

The Director of Women’s Service has issued an appeal for several thousand milkmaids.  These must not be confused with milksops who are being taken care of by other Departments.

***

“I have heard more bad music at temperance meetings,” says Dr. Saleeby, “than I knew the world could contain.”  The temperance people are certainly having persistent bad luck.

***

The keenest minds in Germany, says a Berlin correspondent, are now seeking to discover the secret of the Fatherland’s world-wide unpopularity.  It is this absurd sensitiveness on the part of our cultured opponent that is causing some of her best friends in this country to lose hope.

***

A swallow has been seen over the Hollow Ponds at Epping Forest, but The Daily Mail is still silent as to whether Spring has arrived or not.

***

“New Laid Eggs,” Sir John millais’ masterpiece, has recently been sold for L1,155.  It is reported that last December, when it looked as if the egg might become extinct, a much higher price was offered for the picture.

***

In the absence of other grain, hens are to be fed upon frostbitten wheat imported from Canada.  Poultry-keepers anticipate that it will result in a greatly increased number of china eggs being laid by their stock.

***

A correspondent of a morning paper complains that while the entire nation is on rations our Germans, naturalised and unnaturalised, “continue to eat in the usual way.”  This is not true of the ones we have heard.

***

In view of the excessive rains of late, we are glad to note that one organisation is not to be caught napping.  The National Lifeboat Institution is fitting out its boats with a new life-belt.

***

The Kaiser, it is reported, has written a play.  It only needed this to convince us that he is quite himself again.

***

We also learn that he is once more on speaking terms with Count REVENTLOW.  He told the count, the other day, “to mind his own business.”

***

There were 1,084,289 visitors to the London Zoological Gardens last year.  It is worthy of note that not one of them was accepted.

***

A wood-pigeon shot at Heytesbury was found to have in its crop sixty-five grains of corn—­enough to produce half a sack of wheat.  In fairness to the bird it is only right to say that it was not aware of this.

***

Mr. Brace has lately introduced a Bill in the House to reduce the number of jurors at inquests.  A further improvement would be to repeal the old technicality which makes it illegal for a man to give evidence at his own inquest.

***

“I met the prisoner twenty years ago,” said a witness in a Northern police court last week, “and I well remember his face.”  It is better to have that sort of memory than that sort of face.