[Sidenote:  No. 3 (a)]

Mrs. Ima Gobbler is not really fat enough to be called a fat—!  She is only 40 or 50 pounds overweight, but she is fond of me and I took liberties with her.  She is a darling.

[Sidenote:  No. 3 (b)]

She is a purist, too.  I called her up after I put her in my book, and I said, “You are fond of me, aren’t you, Mrs. Gobbler?” And she said, “Youbetcha.”  “And you are a good sport, aren’t you?” “Surest thing you know!” “That’s good, for I have said a horrid thing to you.  I had to, in order to stop the club discussion.”  And she responded soulfully, “Go to it, Kid!”

[Sidenote:  No. 4]

Mrs. Sheesasite’s husband did not really have to buy her a pair of freight scales; that is just a gentle josh.  The ordinary scales will weigh 300 pounds, I believe.  She is also a dear.

[Sidenote:  No. 5]

My husband’s eyes are not really green, nor is he cross-eyed.  They are the loveliest, softest brown.  The green eyes belong on the maternal side of this house.

[Sidenote:  No. 6]

My artist is not really noted.  He is just an ordinary adorable ten-year-old boy kiddie.  Aren’t his little figures the dearest ever?

* * * * *

[Sidenote:  Doing My Bit]

All the characters in my book are friends of mine.  Perhaps you had better substitute were for are.  There was one woman mentioned in my original manuscript and my husband said what have you put her in for Pattie? (a corruption of Pettie, a H.moon hangover) she is no friend of yours:  she knocks you.  And I said loftily like, I want you to know Ijit (corruption of Idiot, also a H.moon hangover) I am above personalities she is prominent and besides she is fat especially in the feet and head and she doesn’t know it and he said that doesn’t make any difference you do not have to immortalize her and I said I would look up the authorities on the subject and he said he was authority enough and I said I would see what the other authorities said anyway and I did and I found one most eminent that said you should love your enemies but none that said you should immortalize them so I said I’d drop her and he said he should say so and so I did.

[Illustration:  Dear Enemy Unimmortalised]

—­All the characters in my book are friends of mine.  Perhaps you had better substitute were for are.

12

Maintenance Diet and Conclusions

[Illustration:  Maintenance Diet 1000 C. over 1000 C. under]

[Sidenote:  1st Circle]

THE HEAVY circle represents the amount of daily food (number of calories) which will maintain you at present weight.  It may be your weight is too much or too little, but this is your maintenance diet for that weight.

[Sidenote:  2nd Circle]

THE SECOND circle represents a daily diet containing more than necessary for maintenance; for example, let us say 1000 calories more.  This 1000 calories of food is equivalent to approximately 4 ounces of fat [1000/255 (1 oz. fat = 255 C.)]; 4 ounces of fat daily equals 8 pounds a month which will be added to your weight, and, if not needed by the system, will deposit itself as excess fat.