DEAR DOCTOR: 

I am so grateful to you, Dr. Lulu Hunt Peters, for what you have done for me.  After reading your book, “Diet and Health, with Key to the Calories” my chronic case of meanness—­I mean leanness—­was absolutely cured.  My weight, which was ... now is ... and I am on my way to normal.  I am fond of you.

* * * * *

DEAREST DOCTOR: 

I cannot be too grateful to you, dear Doctor Lulu Hunt Peters, for your book “Diet and Health, with Key to the Calories,” for I have lost ... pounds!  My weight was ... and now is ... and I am on my way to normal.

I should be ungrateful indeed if I did not mention that while reading the book a chronic case of dammdruff which I had had for years, and which had been given up by six specialists, was absolutely cured.  I adore you!

* * * * *

[Sidenote:  A Wonderful Demonstration]

DEAR DOCTOR: 

For your book, “Diet and Health, with Key to the Calories,” words are inadequate to express my thanks.  For I have been delivered from a chronic affliction of many years’ duration, for which I had tried all known methods of cure.  I refer to the smoking of cheap cigars by my husband.  He suddenly found he had no desire for the noxious weed!  Your arm and leg exercises are wonderful.

* * * * *

11

An Apology and Some Amendments

On re-reading this literary gem, humorous classic, and scientific treatise on weight reduction and gaining, I see that I have a very intimate mixture of the thins and the fats.  But that is as it should be for balance.  I had intended to keep you strictly separate, but the preaching, the exercises, the dry definitions, the Key to the Calories, and so forth, was matter that was applicable to both, so it could not be done.

[Sidenote:  Watch Your Weight]

I have just got to bring this to a close now, if I have it ready as I promised, for the lecture, “Watch Your Weight!” I am glad of it, too.  I am getting so ... funny it is painful.  I will close with the next chapter.  It will be beautifully scientific, but not funny, I promise.

Some Amendments

[Sidenote:  No. 1]

You perhaps have noticed that my first chapter is called “Preliminary Bout,” and then I have gone on to describe a club meeting.  I am aware that P.B. is a prize fighting term, and I meant it for the picture of me fighting myself, not for the club meeting.  I have attended many club meetings, and in none of them have I ever seen any fighting that would have taken any prize anywhere, although I will say I have seen and have myself personally conducted some very classy stuff.

[Sidenote:  No. 2]

I do not use slang.  I use only the purest, most refined, and cultured English.  I leave slang to those who can get by with it and put it over.  So where I have used dashes you may use your favorite slang words.  Mine were deleted by the censors.