[Sidenote:  Duty Dances]

The exercises described hereinafter will help make you fat or thin, and they will keep you supple, graceful, and light on your feet, so that when I tell my husband that he must dance with you, Madam, he will not say, “Nothing stirring,” and when you, Professor, ask me to dance, I will not curse the day I was born.

[Sidenote:  Warning]

If you have not been accustomed to exercise, I warn you to take up only one or two at a time and do each one a few times only.  You will be atrociously sore, and you will realize that you have muscles of which you wotted not.

However, persist, if you are sure there are no organic reasons why you shouldn’t—­such as a weak heart. (In case you are very much overweight, I think it advisable to wait until you have reduced somewhat.)

[Sidenote:  Or Classic Dancing]

It is splendid if you can belong to a gymnasium or to a physical culture class, but ten to fifteen minutes’ systematic daily exercise practiced with vim, and each set followed by deep breathing, will do more good than a gymnasium spasmodically attended.  Brisk walking with a long stride isn’t so bad; in fact, if taken with a very long stride it will twist ’most every organ you have in your body.

There are hundreds of exercises you can take.  If you will notice little rascal’s illustrations you will find many good ones.  Those illustrating the beginning of this chapter are excellent.

If possible, it is best to take the exercises on arising in the morning, but if you have a household to care for you may not be able to do so.  For those who have to do their own work, it may be well to do the work first.  You can do it in half the time if you plan it carefully and speed up. (This advice is not for my thin friends; their speedometers register too high already.) It does not matter so much when the exercises are done as that they are done, and done every day for the rest of your life, with the possible exception of two or three days a month.

Gallstones, permanent stiff joints, and other little things like that will have a hard time forming.

My Exercises

[Sidenote:  They Reach Most of My Muscles]

(The services of my noted artist I was able to obtain with great difficulty, as he was engaged in the more important work of making a swagger stick.  I finally secured him by the promise of an ice cream cone and twenty-three cents to go with his two cents so that he could buy a Thrift Stamp.  He is given due credit on the title page.)

[Sidenote:  Turn On Your Music]

These exercises executed with vim, vigor, and vip—­deep breathing between each set—­will take ten to fifteen minutes.  Re-read my warning.

[Sidenote:  Little Movements with Meanings All Their Own]

1.  Feet together, arms outstretched, palms up, describe as large a circle as possible.  Fine for round shoulders and fat backs.  Do slowly and stretch fifteen times.  Smile.