It was stated in Parliament last week that up to April 6th only 2,800 persons had been placed in employment by the National Service Department.  The Government, it was felt, could have done better than that by the simple process of creating another new Department.

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[Illustration:  Scotland for ever!]

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The Journal in a recent message states that the British have ample supplies of ammunition.  The Germans near St. Quentin and Lens also incline to this view.

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A resident of Northfleet, who wrote to a friend in Philadelphia in 1893, has just had the letter returned to him through the American Dead Letter Office.  It is only fair to state that the letter was not marked “Urgent.”

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Fortunately in our hour of need one man at least has undertaken to do his best for his country.  Mr. Frank Harris has told an American newspaper man that he does not intend to return to Great Britain.

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Owing to the increased cost of beer, several seaside resorts are announcing to intending visitors that they cannot guarantee a visit from the sea-serpent this summer.

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April 14th is said to be “Cuckoo Day” in this country, but several days before that the Kaiser promised political reform to his people after the War.

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The other night a motor car driven by a French aviator, who was accompanied by three friends, made a tour of Paris, in the course of which it ran down six policemen.  It is evident that the gallant fellow could not have been trying.

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The Star is advocating the abolition of betting news in the daily papers, and it is rumoured that its “Captain Cue” is prepared to offer ten to one that this good thing won’t come off.

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As a protest against the Government’s attitude towards The Nation it is rumoured that Mr. Winston Churchill is about to buy another hat.

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A safe which had been stolen from a Dublin business house has now been discovered in a field nine miles away, but the whole of the contents are missing.  It is believed to be the work of burglars.

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Potatoes are being grown on all the golf links around London.  An enthusiast who is cultivating the ninth hole on one course is offering long odds that bogey will be not less than two tons.

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An electrical engineer has been sent as a substitute for a milker to a Sussex farmer, who, with the characteristic obstinacy of his class, refuses to accept the expert’s assurance that all his cows are suffering from dry cells.

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A writer in The Daily Chronicle claims that there are no railway stations in Stoke Newington.  It seems incredible that the artistic sense of a Metropolitan community could be so hopelessly stunted.