["In view of the fact that M.C. is also the abbreviation for ’Military Cross’ ... it has been recommended that the abbreviations for the degrees of Bachelor of Surgery and Master of Surgery be altered from B.C. and M.C. to B.Ch. and M.Ch.”]

In view of the fact that P.M. is also the abbreviation for Prime Minister and Post-Mortem, the London and North-Western Railway recommend that in future the abbreviation for afternoon be A.L. (After Luncheon).

In view of the fact that (as every schoolboy knows) D.D. is also the abbreviation for Double Donkey, the Upper House of Convocation recommend that in future the abbreviation for Doctor of Divinity be Doc.  Div.

In view of the fact that Q.S. is also the abbreviation for Quarter Sessions, the Committee of the Pharmaceutical Society recommend that in future the abbreviation for Quantum Suff. be S.W. (Say When).

* * * * *

    “Herbert Spencer made a rough outline of his ‘Sympathetic Philosophy’
    when forty years old.”—­Weekly Paper.

Alas! he never lived to fill in the details.

* * * * *

A PERSONAL TRIUMPH.

Always at the same point of my railway journey North I drop my paper and wait till a certain trim red-roofed ivy-clad cottage comes into view across the fields to the right.  Till yesterday there were two reasons why I should hail this cottage with delight.  First of all, it stands where trim cottages are rarer than pit-heads and slag heaps; and, secondly, GEORGE STEPHENSON once lived there.  From now onwards, however, I have a third and more compelling reason for respecting the old building.  You shall hear.

Know, then, that I have a friend called Smithson.  The Athenians would have had a short way with him; and I admit that there have been times in the course of our relationship when hemlock would really have been the only thing to meet the case.  Our conversations (it is no fault of mine) are always dialectical.  They take the following form.  Light-heartedly I enunciate a proposition.  Smithson is interested and asks for a clearer statement.  I modify my original position.  Smithson purrs.  Seeing trouble imminent, I modify my modification, and from that point onwards I make a foredoomed but not (as I flatter myself) an unplucky fight against relentless logic.  The elenchus comes soon or late, but it always comes.  Only in dreams am I ever one up on Smithson.  The old trick of cramming up hard parts of the Encyclopaedia overnight is no good.  I tried it once with “Hegesippus” and “The Hegira.”  You don’t know what either of these words mean?  Smithson did—­and he knew the articles.  No doubt he and Mr. GLADSTONE had written them in collaboration.

Well, yesterday, Smithson and I were in the neighbourhood of the cottage which I have told you of.  Having an hour to spare from work of national importance, we took our sandwiches and were eating them in view of the jolly old house.