I could find no relief, nor the least shadow of comfort; the extreme distress of my mind so affected my health that I continued very ill for three Days, and Nights; and would admit of no means to be taken for my recovery, though my lady was very kind, and sent many things to me; but I rejected every means of relief and wished to die—­I would not go into my own bed, but lay in the stable upon straw—­I felt all the horrors of a troubled conscience, so hard to be born, and saw all the vengeance of God ready to overtake me—­I was sensible that there was no way for me to be saved unless I came to Christ, and I could not come to Him:  I thought that it was impossible He should receive such a sinner as me.

The last night that I continued in this place, in the midst of my distress these words were brought home upon my mind, "Behold the Lamb of God." I was something comforted at this, and began to grow easier and wished for day that I might find these words in my bible—­I rose very early the following morning, and went to my school-master, Mr. Vanosdore, and communicated the situation of my mind to him; he was greatly rejoiced to find me enquiring the way to Zion, and blessed the Lord who had worked so wonderfully for me a poor heathen.—­I was more familiar with this good gentleman than with my master, or any other person; and found myself more at liberty to talk to him:  he encouraged me greatly, and prayed with me frequently, and I was always benefited by his discourse.

About a quarter of a mile from my Master’s house stood a large remarkably fine Oak-tree, in the midst of a wood; I often used to be employed there in cutting down trees, (a work I was very fond of) I seldom failed going to this place every day; sometimes twice a day if I could be spared.  It was the highest pleasure I ever experienced to set under this Oak; for there I used to pour out all my complaints to the LORD:  and when I had any particular grievance I used to go there, and talk to the tree, and tell my sorrows, as if it had been to a friend.

Here I often lamented my own wicked heart, and undone state; and found more comfort and consolation than I ever was sensible of before.—­Whenever I was treated with ridicule or contempt, I used to come here and find peace.  I now began to relish the book my Master gave me, Baxter’s Call to the unconverted, and took great delight in it.  I was always glad to be employ’d in cutting wood, ’twas a great part of my business, and I follow’d it with delight, as I was then quite alone and my heart lifted up to GOD, and I was enabled to pray continually; and blessed for ever be his Holy Name, he faithfully answer’d my prayers.  I can never be thankful enough to Almighty GOD for the many comfortable opportunities I experienced there.

It is possible the circumstance I am going to relate will not gain credit with many; but this I know, that the joy and comfort it conveyed to me, cannot be expressed and only conceived by those who have experienced the like.