Squire.  Please to be seated, gentlemen. [He puts on his spectacles and begins to read slowly.] “Imprirmis; whereas, my nephew, Francis Millington, by his disobedience and ungrateful conduct, has shown himself unworthy of my bounty, and incapable of managing my large estate, I do hereby give and bequeath all my houses, farms, stocks, bonds, moneys, and property, both personal and real, to my dear cousins, Samuel Swipes, of Malt Street, brewer, and Christopher Currie, of Fly Court, saddler.” [The Squire here takes off his spectacles, and begins to wipe them very leisurely.]

Swipes.  Generous creature! kind soul!  I always loved her!

Cur.  She was good, she was kind;—­and, brother Swipes, when we divide, I think I’ll take the mansion house.

Swipes.  Not so fast, if you please, Mr. Currie.  My wife has long had her eye upon that, and must have it.

Cur.  There will be two words to that bargain, Mr. Swipes.  And, besides, I ought to have the first choice.  Did I not lend her a new chaise every time she wished to ride?  And who knows what influence—­

Swipes.  Am I not named first in her will? and did I not furnish her with my best small beer for more than six months?  And who knows—­

Frank.  Gentlemen, I must leave you. [Going.] Squire. [Putting on his spectacles very deliberately.] Pray, gentlemen, keep your seats, I have not done yet.  Let me see; where was I?  Ay, “All my property, both personal and real, to my dear cousins, Samuel Swipes, of Malt Street, brewer,”—­

Swipes.  Yes!

Squire.  “And Christopher Currie, of Fly Court, saddler,”

Cur.  Yes!

Squire.  “To have and to hold, in trust, for the sole and exclusive benefit of my nephew, Francis Millington, until he shall have attained the age of twenty-one years, by which time I hope he will have so far reformed his evil habits, as that he may safely be intrusted with the large fortune which I hereby bequeath to him.”

Swipes.  What is all this?  You don’t mean that we are humbugged?  In trust! 
How does that appear?  Where is it?

Squire.  There; in two words of as good old English as I ever penned.

Cur.  Pretty well, too, Mr. Squire, if we must be sent for to be made a laughingstock of.  She shall pay for every ride she has had out of my chaise, I promise you.

Swipes.  And for every drop of my beer.  Fine times, if two sober, hard-working citizens are to be brought here to be made the sport of a graceless profligate.  But we will manage his property for him, Mr. Currie; we will make him feel that trustees are not to be trifled with.

Cur.  That we will.

Squire.  Not so fast, gentlemen; for the instrument is dated three years ago; and the young gentleman must be already of age, and able to take care of himself.  Is it not so, Francis?

Frank.  It is, your worship.  Squire.  Then, gentlemen, having attended to the breaking of the seal, according to law, you are released from any further trouble about the business.