CHAPTER II

RUPERT OPENS A GREAT WAR

Sec.1

Poor Mr. Caesar, with the weak eyes!  He had left his class-room door unlocked. Golly, so he had!  And since the bell had only just ceased to echo, and Mr. Caesar would certainly be some minutes late, what was to stop us from conducting a few operations within the class-room?  Under the command of Pennybet, we entered the room and with due respect lifted the master’s large writing-desk from its little platform, and carried it to the further end of the room.  We left him his armchair, decently disposed upon the platform, thinking it would be ungenerous to keep him standing through an hour’s lesson.

Then we guiltily stole out of the class-room, closed the door, and lined up in the corridor, as smartly as a squad of regulars.  Aided by Penny’s hand, we right-dressed.  We kept our eyes front, heads erect, and heels together.  We braced ourselves up still better when Mr. Caesar appeared at the end of the corridor.  None of us spoke nor moved.  A few fools like myself giggled nasally, and were promptly subdued:  “Don’t spoil it all, you stinking fish!”

On came the gallant Mr. Caesar, his eyes mutely inquiring the reason for this ominous quiet.  He reached the door with no sign from any of us that we were aware of a new arrival.  He tried the lock with his key and, after an expression of surprise to find it already turned, opened the door and walked in.  Immediately, in accordance with a pre-arranged code of signals, Penny dropped one book.  We right-turned.  We did it in faultless time, turning as one man, and each of us bringing his left foot with a brisk stamp on the floor.  Then, a suitable silence having ensued, Penny dropped two books.  Instantly we obeyed.  In single file, our left feet stamping rhythmically, with heads erect and eyes front, we marched after Mr. Caesar, and gradually diverged from one another till each man stood marking time at his particular desk.  At this point Penny tripped over his left heel, and in an unfortunate accident flung all his books on to the floor.  Abruptly, and like machines, we sat down.  The room shook.

It was difficult for our master to know what to do; as there was no real reason to associate our military movements with Penny’s series of little accidents, and there was certainly no fault to find with our orderly entry into the class-room.  So he did nothing beyond sadly sweeping us with his eyes.  And then he inquired: 

“Where’s my desk?”

Goodness gracious, where could his great desk be?  We got out of our seats, foreseeing a long search.  We began by opening our own desks and looking inside.  Certain high lockers that stood against the wall we opened.  It was in none of them.  We pulled ourselves up and looked along the top of these lockers.  It was not there.  Penny did three or four of these “pull-ups” by way of extending his biceps.  We looked along the walls and under the forms.  Penny created a little excitement by declaring that “he thought he saw it then.”  And Doe opened the door and looked up and down the corridor.