away!”
        (One doth say),
  “Our Emperor is quiet to-day!”
        Cries another,
        “Come, my brother,
  “Avalanches down again!”
  Sings a third, with beckoning fingers,
    “Come, come, where the Cholera lingers.” 
  While a fourth—­is it her fun?—­
    With the wide blue eyes of Hope
    (As though advertising Soap),
        Shouts, with glee,
        “Come with me,
  Unto Norroway, o’er the foam,
        Far from home,
        Wait there to see
  Our (invisible) Midnight Sun!”

  BULL, the tweed-clad British Tourist,
  Muses—­“Home seems the securest,
  On the whole.  Why widely ramble,
  Tramp, and climb, and spend, and gamble,
    Face infection, dulness, danger,
    All the woe that waits “the Stranger,”
  And the Tourist (rich) environs,
  At the call of foreign Sirens,
  When home charmers, bright-eyed, active,
  Offer “metal more attractive?”
  Four such darlings who’ll discover
  O’er the seas?  Shall I, their lover,
    Still discard them for yon minxes,
    Harpies with the eyes of “lynxes”? 
  ALBION dear, and CAMBRIA mild,
  CALEDONIA stern and wild,
  As your poet said, but pretty;
  HIBEBNIA mavourneen, jetty-
  Hair’d, and azure-eyed, I greet ye! 
  Darlings, I am charmed to meet ye.
    Why go wandering o’er the foam,
    Like a latter-day ULYSSES,
    When warm charms and wooing-kisses
  Of such Sirens Four wait me at home?”

* * * * *

[Illustration:  UNLUCKY COMPLIMENT.

Shoeblack (wishing to please liberal and important Customer).  “SHOULDN’T LIKE TO GET A KICK FROM You, Sin!” [Gets one on the spot.]

* * * * *

“L’HOMME PROPOSE—.”

[Gentlemen are now coached “How to Propose.”]

[Illustration]

They sat it out upon the stairs,
Those dear old stairs!  Ah me; how many
A time they’ve cost, all unawares,
A pretty penny!

Why they were fools enough to go
To sit on stairs, and miss the fun,
Quite baffles me; but still, you know,
It has been done.

The lights were low—­lights often are—­
I deem the fact though worth the noting,
And strains of music from afar
Came softly floating.

So whilst she pondered what Mamma
Would think, the band commenced to play
The epidemical “Ta-ra-
ra-boom-de-ay!”

He gazed into her eyes (of blue),
Sighed once as if it hurt him badly,
Then told her how ’twas but too true
He loved her madly.

With highly creditable skill
He turned the well-worn platitude—­
His own unworthiness until
You really could

Not but admire each word, each look. 
His speech was quite unrivalled in its
Intensity—­in fact it took
At least ten minutes.