[Illustration:  An Incomplete Suit.]

Written Six Years later.—­After five years’ diligent search, we have discovered the whereabouts of Mr. PITT WELLINGTON, according to the instructions furnished us by Messrs. ROE, NEPHEWS, TOMPKINS AND BACKGAMMON.  We regret, however, to say that it will be impossible to carry out the instructions of the Court to produce him, that he might be brought up as a Reformed Revivalist of the New Connexion (a sect, we fancy, that disappeared some twenty years ago), as the alleged infant, the object of our search, died at the advanced age of ninety-two during the past summer.  We add this mem to this paper, as the document seems to have reference to the matter we have in hand, and which now must ever be an incomplete suit. (Signed) HAND AND GLOVE. Private Inquiry Agents.

Final Endorsement.—­Messrs. DIGGE AND DELVE having had the honour to be commanded to make the necessary arrangements for the obsequies of the late Mr. PITT WELLINGTON, beg to say (on this memorandum) that they have not been fortunate enough to carry out the transaction to their entire satisfaction.  Messrs. D. AND D. were able to ascertain the funeral rites of the Reformed Revivalists of the New Connexion (very poor and inexpensive rites), but have found out that the late Mr. PITT WELLINGTON himself placed a difficulty in their path.  Messrs. D. AND D. have ascertained with regret that the late Mr. PITT WELLINGTON has been cremated, having died a Buddhist.

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ADVICE GRATIS.—­STARTING IN TRADE. (TO “FRUGALITY.")—­You say that you have opened a “general shop” for the sale, among other things, of milk, paraffin oil, tobacco, sweetmeats, and fried fish, and you ask whether it will be necessary to take out any kind of licence, and if so, what?—­Surely you are joking.  If so, a game-licence might suit you; or why not try the Examiner of Plays?  If you are serious, it seems to us no further licence is needed; you have taken enough already.

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“LES DEUX CHARLIES,” i.e. the Common Serjeant (resigned) and the Recorder.  The one is “Not there at all,” and the other is “HALL there.” (N.B.—­Mem. to the Recorder, this is “a Short Sentence.”)

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NOTICE.—­Rejected Communications or Contributions, whether MS., Printed Matter, Drawings, or Pictures of any description, will in no case be returned, not even when accompanied by a Stamped and Addressed Envelope, Cover, or Wrapper.  To this rule there will be no exception.