—­EXCEPT, BEDAD, THAT WE’RE GOING TO BEAT THE BOSCH!”]

Mr. JOHN REDMOND, refusing to continue what he regarded as a futile and humiliating debate, marched out of the House at the head of his supporters.  This manoeuvre, rather effective in the Gladstonian era, did not much impress the House on this occasion; for news that something of the kind was intended had leaked out; and Mr. HEALY’S subsequent allusion to it as “a dramatic skedaddle” was felt to be justified.

Thursday, March 8th.—­I should have thought that the Dardanelles Report, which everyone is reading, contained enough sensations to satisfy the most outree taste.  But Sir CHARLES HOBHOUSE is still anxious to know the real meaning of the tantalizing asterisks which occur here and there in it, and wants a day to discuss the matter.  Mr. BONAR LAW did not absolutely refuse, but hoped that when his right hon. friend had examined the Report he would forgo his desire for further information.  It may safely be said that the omitted passages, whatever they are, could hardly alter the public verdict on the extraordinary notions of conducting a war which seem to have prevailed in the Cabinet of which Sir CHARLES HOBHOUSE was himself a member.

The determining factor in the inception of the Dardanelles affair seems to have been the disastrous confidence of the then First Lord of the Admiralty in the 15-inch guns of the Queen Elizabeth.  The outcome recalls a verse from a song popular when Master WINSTON was in petticoats:—­

  “I joined the Naval Demon-strat-i-on,
  But we never fired so much as a gun,
  And the Turk he laughed and said, ’Oh, what fun! 
  It’s all on account of Eliza!’”

* * * * *

    Distressing Sequel to Early Marriage.

    “An exciting scene on Waterloo Bridge was described at Bow-street
    yesterday when Lydia Wilderspin, aged 2, married, was charged with
    attempting suicide.”—­Illustrated Sunday Herald.

* * * * *

“RANK AND FILE.

    The following casualties are reported under various dates:—­

    (The home team is Liverpool except where otherwise shown).”—­Liverpool
    Daily Post.

But surely this is an “away” match?

* * * * *

Extract from interview with French journalist:—­

    “Mr. Lloyd George’s face lit up proudly as he modestly replied.”

Will the PRIME MINISTER please tell us how is is done?  It might solve the problem of getting about in the darkened streets.

* * * * *

                “JAMES KENNEDY,
                Monumental Sculptor,
    Having been called up for Military Service, Mr. Kennedy is forced to
    close down his Business, all the other male members of the family being
    already on Service.  He begs to take this opportunity of thanking all
    patrons who have accorded him their support in the past, and he hopes
    that any who might have business requiring his attention may be able to
    hold over same until his return to business.”—­Ayrshire Post.