* * * * *

OH, SAUNDERSON, MY COLONEL!

AIR—­“John Anderson, my Jo!”

  Oh, SAUNDERSON, my Colonel,
    You’re stout and eloquent,
  But boding; as the raven. 
    Knock ninety-nine per cent. 
  From your Cassandra prophecies,
    As bogeyish as eternal,
  And you’ll be nearer to the truth,
    Brave SAUNDERSON, my Colonel!

  Oh, SAUNDERSON, my Colonel,
    Could you but pull together,
  Orange and Green, a truce were seen
    To bigotry and blether. 
  ’Tis they that keep the Emerald Isle
    In pother so infernal. 
  Drop hate and fear, try love and trust,
    Brave SAUNDERSON, my Colonel!

* * * * *

OBVIOUS.—­The Daily News reports the mysterious disappearance from the Government Saw Mills at Portsmouth, of 2,570 feet of deal.  “No one can say,” it is added, “what became of the wood.”  Why, it walked off of course, with so many feet the temptation was irresistible.

* * * * *

[Illustration:  “CLOSED FOR ALTERATIONS AND REPAIRS.”

MR. PUNCH.  “CHANGE OF ACTORS AND PROGRAMME, EH, MR. BULL?”

MR. JOHN BULL (Manager and Proprietor).  “CAN’T TELL YET, MR.
PUNCH,—­DON’T OPEN TILL AUGUST!”]

* * * * *

[Illustration:  A FUTURE DIPLOMAT.

“MUMMIE, DEAR, YOU HAVEN’T GIVEN ME ENOUGH SUGAR FOR MY STRAWBERRIES!” (Mummie helps him to some more sugar.) “NOW, MUMMIE, YOU HAVEN’T GIVEN ME ENOUGH STRAWBERRIES FOR MY SUGAR!”

[Mummie helps him to more Strawberries!]

* * * * *

ELECTION NOTES.

(BY MR. PUNCH’S SPECIAL COMMISSIONER.)

The excitement is getting terrific.  In the principal streets party flags are waving gaily.  In the suburbs every other house is hidden beneath vast posters, setting forth the merits of the rival parties.  The Association of Jam-Dealers held a private meeting last night.  I was, however, enabled to be present having disguised myself as Mr. BLACKFORD, one of the Vice-Presidents of the Association, who was taken ill at the last moment, and whose letter of excuse for non-attendance I managed to intercept.  The proceedings opened with prayer, on the model of the recent Ulster Convention.  After this, the discussion began.  A series of questions had, it appears, been addressed to both Candidates.  Here they are:—­

(1) Will you oppose any attempt to increase the import of foreign jam-stuffs?

(2) Will you support a measure making it compulsory for the London Cooperative Stores to sell only Jam manufactured by the Bunkham Jam-Dealers’ Association?

(3) Will you oppose any measure calculated to deprive the rising generation of one of the necessaries of life in the shape of Bunkham Jam?  And will you therefore oppose, by all lawful Parliamentary means, the use of the domestic rod as a punishment for so-called Jam-stealing out of store-room cupboards?