* * * * *

The Right Hon. GILBERT CHESTERTON is recovering from a mild attack of mumps.  During the progress of the complaint his portrait was painted by Sir AUGUSTUS JOHN.

* * * * *

The Rev. H. G. WELLS preached yesterday evening at the City Temple.

* * * * *

Viscount GREBA (Sir HALL CAINE) takes his seat in the House of Lords to-day, and is expected to make an important pronouncement on Compulsory Manx at the Universities.

* * * * *

Mr. WINSTON CHURCHILL’S portrait of Lord FISHER has been accepted at Madame TUSSAUD’S Exhibition.

* * * * *

OLD RHYMES FOR RATION TIMES.

  There was an old woman who lived in a shoe,
  She had so many children she didn’t know what to do;
  She gave them some broth without any bread,
  So as not to exceed her allowance per head.

  Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard
    To get her poor dog a bone;
  But when she got there the cupboard was bare,
    And so the poor dog had none. 
  She went to the kitchen and scolded the slavey,
  Who answered, “All bones must be boiled down for gravy.”

  “Mary, Mary, quite contrairy, how does your garden grow?”
  “Early greens and haricot beans and cauliflowers all in a row.”

  When good KING ARTHUR ruled this land he was a goodly king,
  He stored ten sacks of barleymeal to last him through the Spring;
  The Food-Controller heard thereof, and said, “This wicked hoarding
  Must not go on—­and if it does I’ll have to act according.”

* * * * *

CHILDREN’S TALES FOR GROWN-UPS.

v.

THE RIVALS.

The frog challenged the nightingale to a singing contest.  “Of course for gurgling and untutored warbling I know he has it,” he said to his friend the toad, “but in technique I shall beat him hollow.”

So the jury was chosen.  The nightingale proposed the lark, the thrush, the blackbird and the bullfinch as experts in singing, and the frog proposed the starling, the linnet, the chaffinch and the reed-warbler.

The nightingale was overcome with emotion at the generosity of the frog, and insisted on adding the crow and the toad as experts in croaking.

The nightingale sang first, whilst his trade rivals sat and chattered.  They chattered so loud that the nightingale stopped singing in a huff.

“You are hardly at your best, you know, old thing,” said the linnet sympathetically.

“You will find these throat lozenges excellent for hoarseness,” said the blackbird.

“His upper register is weak—­abominably weak,” said the starling to the lark.

“Perhaps if his voice were trained,” suggested the lark.

Meanwhile the frog croaked away lustily, but no one listened to him.  “The jury must vote by ballot,” he said as he finished the last croak.