* * * * *

AN INDUCEMENT.

    “WANTED, Nurse, L30, for three children, 13, 7, and 3 years:  nurseryman
    kept.”—­Evesham Journal.

To help, we suppose, in making up the beds.

* * * * *

    “The stream proved treacherous in the extreme, being a succession of
    rapids and whirlpools.  Often their magazine rifles and automatic
    revolvers were all that stood between them and death.”—­Observer.

We always use a Winchester repeater for shooting rapids.

* * * * *

“Merely as photographs these postcards are remarkable.  As ikons for men to vow by; as lessons for women to show their children in days to come—­when the Hun octopus roots himself again in the comity of civilised nations, lying in wait at our doorways, stretching out his antennae, like those foul things that lurk at sea-cavern mouths—­these eight pictures have historical value.”—­Daily Mail.

Biologists too will be glad to have this description of the habits and characteristics of that fearsome beast the Octopus Germanicus.

* * * * *

[Illustration:  “WHAT’S FOR YOU, MISSIE?” “I FORGET ITS NIME—­BUT IT’S A PINT O’ WOT IT SMELLS LIKE.”]

* * * * *

ANTICIPATORY INTELLIGENCE.

(Items gathered from the Dally Press of April 1st, 1927).

LORD KENNEDY-JONES, Grand Editor to the Nation, announced yesterday that he proposed to take no notice of the protest against the use of the words “voiced,” “glimpsed” and “featured” in official documents.

* * * * *

The Earl of Mount-Carmel has left London on a protracted tour in Pulpesia.  He requests that no mention shall be made of his movements during his absence in any newspapers.  A special correspondent of Chimes will, we understand, accompany his lordship.

* * * * *

Mr. WINSTON CHURCHILL gave further evidence yesterday before the Dardanelles Commission.

* * * * *

Lord BILLING left England yesterday for New York in the Transatlantic air-liner P.B.

* * * * *

“Polymachus,” the famous descriptive journalist, yesterday published his five-thousandth daily article on the policies, principles and opinions of the house of Pelfwidge.  An ox was roasted whole on the roof garden of the famous emporium in honour of the event.

* * * * *

Mr. GINNELL created a slight sensation in the House of Commons yesterday by attempting to accompany on the Irish harp his speech in support of the Atlantic Tunnel Bill.

* * * * *

The SPEAKER of the House of Commons has ruled a Member out of order for making a Latin quotation, the first heard at Westminster for nine years.