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III.—­From Miss Lavinia Fluttermere.

DEAR LORD DEVONPORT,—­I am writing on behalf of my sister Penelope as well as on my own to bring before you a difficulty under which we are labouring in connection with your Lordship’s order in regard to the consumption of food.  We are two sisters, the daughters of a country clergyman, who died when I was eighteen and Penelope a year and a half younger.  I tell you this to show you that we were not accustomed in our youth to luxurious living.  For many years now Penelope and I have lived together in a very small way on the income of an annuity for our joint lives which was bought with a sum of money left to us by an uncle.  On this we have managed to get along comfortably, and have even been able to pay for occasional help in the work of our very modest household.  When your Lordship’s food order was issued we determined to obey it strictly, being glad of an opportunity to show our patriotic devotion to the cause of our country.  “It will be hard for us, Penelope,” I said, “for we are not used to such quantities of meat, and even the allowance of bread is too great, I fear, for our poor appetites; but, since Lord DEVONPORT wishes it, all we can do is to obey, even though this may entail a change in our manner of living and an increase in our weekly expenses.”  Penelope agreed, and on this principle we have endeavoured to act.  We have, however, now found the task to be beyond our capacity, though we have struggled loyally to fulfil the duty imposed upon us; and we write to ask your Lordship to grant us some dispensation, lest permanent plethora should ensue.

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IN A GOOD CAUSE.

Mr. Punch desires to support very heartily Lord BERESFORD’S appeal on behalf of the fine work of the Ladies’ Emergency Committee of the Navy League, who supply warm clothing to the crews of men-of-war and mercantile auxiliaries; equipment to Naval hospitals, and parcels of food and other necessaries to Naval prisoners of war.  The strain upon the Committee’s resources has been very heavy, and Mr. Punch is confident that his friends will not allow our gallant sea-services to suffer through any need which it is within their power to supply.

Cheques may be made payable to Admiral Lord BERESFORD, and addressed to the Hon. Secretary, Ladies’ Emergency Committee of the Navy League, 56, Queen Anne Street, Cavendish Street, W.

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    “L1 REWARD.—­Lost, Umbrella, engraved W.C.B. 1865-1915.”—­The Times.

We do not believe that such a faithful friend is lost; it has simply gone out to celebrate its jubilee.

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    “FOOD IN FRANCE.

A friend who was in France last week tells me that the only cheap article of diet just now is eggs, which are about 1-1/2d. each.  Meat, he said, averages 5f. a kilo, which is about the equivalent of 5s. a pound.”—­Daily Mirror.

No wonder we are not allowed to have the metric system.