THE FOOD-SHORTAGE.

    “Wanted, Second-hand Cavity Pan, with agitators complete, for edible
    purposes.”—­Manchester Guardian.

* * * * *

    “No potatoes are to be served in future at any meal at the Portland
    Club, St. James’s Square.”—­Westminster Gazette.

Hence the new name for this club—­the Devonportland.

* * * * *

    “We shall have to work more harder.”—­Daily Paper.

And some of us will have to write more better English.

* * * * *

HERBS OF GRACE.

v.

LAVENDER.

    Grey walls that lichen stains,
    That take the sun and the rains,
      Old, stately and wise;
    Clipt yews, old lawns flag-bordered,
    In ancient ways yet ordered;
      South walks where the loud bee plies
      Daylong till Summer flies;—­
  Here grows Lavender, here breathes England.

    Gay cottage gardens, glad,
    Comely, unkempt and mad,
      Jumbled, jolly and quaint;
    Nooks where some old man dozes;
    Currants and beans and roses
      Mingling without restraint;
      A wicket that long lacks paint;—­
  Here grows Lavender, here breathes England.

    Sprawling for elbow-room,
    Spearing straight spikes of bloom,
      Clean, wayward and tough;
    Sweet and tall and slender,
    True, enduring and tender,
      Buoyant and bold and bluff,
      Simplest, sanest of stuff;—­
  Thus grows Lavender, thence breathes England.

* * * * *

[Illustration:  Baker. “WHAT’S WRONG WITH THE LITTLE CHAP?”

Mother. “I GIVE IT UP.  I’VE GIVEN HIM A BUN—­I DON’T KNOW WHAT MORE ’E WANTS.  I CAN’T GET ’IM TO REALISE THERE’S A WAR ON.”]

* * * * *

CO-OPERATIVE ADVERTISEMENTS.

In view of the restriction of the paper supply it has been suggested that advertisers should unite in cultivating the available space on a co-operative intensive system.

For example, the various proprietors of three popular brands of cigarettes, instead of having a page advertisement each, might combine in one single page, like this:—­

THREE OF THE BEST.

You cannot consider yourself a connoisseur of
cigarettes unless you are able to distinguish at
one and the same time the individually exquisite
flavours of
“THE BRASS HAT”
“THE OFFENSIVE.” 
“THE GAS ATTACK.”

THERE IS NO OTHER PERFECT BLEND.

These cigarettes are smoked in our patent
“Trident” cigarette-holders.

Of all Tobacconists.

You see?  Not only does each manufacturer still obtain the same sale for his cigarettes, but he actually gains a third share in the profits of a new accessory—­the triple cigarette-holder.