***

At Haweswater, Westmoreland, some sheep were recently dug out alive after being buried in a snow-drift forty days.  It is thought that a morbid fear of being sold as New Zealand mutton caused the animals to make a supreme struggle for life.

***

A lady correspondent of The Daily Telegraph suggests that tradesmen should economise paper by ceasing to send out a separate expression of thanks with every receipted bill.  A further economy is suggested by a hardened creditor, who advocates the abolition of the absurd custom of sending out a quarterly statement of “account rendered.”

***

Beer bottles are now said to be worth more than the beer they contain, and apprehension is being felt lest the practice shall develop of giving away the contents to those who consent to return the empty bottles.

***

Difficulty having been found in replacing firemen called up for military service, the Hendon Council, it is rumoured, are requesting the residents not to have any conflagrations for the present at least.

***

Mr. John inns, of Stevenage, has just purchased the whole parish of Caldecote, Herts; but the report that he had to do this in order to obtain a pound of sugar proves incorrect.

* * * * *

NOTICE.

In order to meet the national need for economy in the consumption of paper, the Proprietors of Punch are compelled to reduce the number of its pages, but propose that the amount of matter published in Punch shall by condensation and compression be maintained and even, it is hoped, increased.

It is further necessary that means should be taken to restrict the circulation of Punch, and on and after March 14th its price will be Sixpence.  The Proprietors believe that the public will prefer an increase of price to a reduction of matter.

Readers are urged to place an order with their Newsagent for the regular delivery of copies, as Punch may otherwise be unobtainable, the shortage of paper making imperative the withdrawal from Newsagents of the “on-sale-or-return” privilege.

In consequence of the increase in the price of Punch the period covered by subscriptions already paid direct to the Punch Office will have to be proportionately shortened.

* * * * *

Apology of A warrior minstrel.

  Lucasta, don’t be cruel
    If my bewildered lyre
  Amidst such stores of fuel
    Seems reft of sacred fire.

  For if you know what France is
    You know how it is hard
  To blend, as in romances,
    The warrior with the bard.

  The troubadours of story
    Knew no such woes as we,
  Whose hopes of martial glory
    Are built on F.A.T.[1]