“Modern Types” and “Among the Amateurs” are well known to the readers of Punch.  But lovers of C.S.  CALVERLEY—­that is to say, all but a very few ill-conditioned critical creatures—­and of neat verse with a sting to it, should turn to p. 203 (A.C.S. v.  C.S.C.), and read and enjoy the smart slating Mr. LEHMANN administers to tumid, tumultuous, thrasonic, turncoatist ALGERNON CHARLES SWINBURNE, for saying of the brilliant and well-beloved Author of Fly Leaves, &c., that he—­forsooth!—­is “monstrously overrated and preposterously overpraised"!!!  BARON DE B.-W. & Co.

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WANTED IN THE LAW COURTS.

A Junior who will wear his gown straight, and not pretend that intense preoccupation over dummy briefs prevents him from knowing that it is off one shoulder.

A Judge who can resist the temptation to utter feeble witticisms, and to fall asleep.

A Witness who answers questions, and incidentally tells the truth.

A Jury who do not look supremely silly, and ridiculously self-conscious, when directly addressed or appealed to by Counsel; or one that really understands that the Judge’s politeness is only another and subtle form of self-glorification.

A Q.C. who is not “eminent,” who does not behave “nobly,” and who can avoid the formula “I suggest to you,” in cross-examination; or one that does not thunder from a lofty and inaccessible moral altitude so soon as a nervous Witness blunders or contradicts himself.

An Usher who does not try to induce the general public, especially the female portion thereof, to mistake him for the Lord Chancellor.

A Solicitor who does not strive to appear coram populo on terms of quite unnecessarily familiar intercourse with his leading Counsel.

An Articled Clerk who does not dress beyond his thirty shillings a-week, and think that the whole Court is lost in speculation as to the identity of that distinguished-looking young man.

An Associate who does not go into ecstasies of merriment over every joke or obiter dictum from the Bench.

Anybody who does not give loud expression to the opinion at the nearest bar when the Court rises, that he could have managed the case for either or both sides infinitely better than the Counsel engaged.

A Court-house whose atmosphere is pleasant and invigorating after the Court has sat for fifteen minutes.

(Anyone concerned who, on reading these remarks in print, will think that the cap can, by any scintilla of possibility, fit himself.)

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[Illustration:  BUFFALO WILLIAM’S GREAT WILD N.S.E. & W. SHOW.  THE LATEST “UNSEATING ACT.”]

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[Illustration:  PORTRAIT OF A LABOUR CANDIDATE.

WARRANTED TO “SWEEP THE COUNTRY,” AND MAKE HIS MARK IN THE HOUSE OF
COMMONS. (NATURALLY A FLUE-NT SPEAKER)!]