An Anti-lawn-tennis Lady considers that the argument against Croquet, as a game involving a bent back, and a narrowing of the chest, is merely “A very stoopit objection.”

* * * * *

[Illustration:  GUSHING HOSPITALITY. (TIME 3 P.M.)

Hospitable Host.  “HAVE C’GAR, OLD F’LLA?”

Languid Visitor.  “NO—­THANKS!”

H.H. “CIGARETTE THEN?”

His Visitor.  “NO—­THANKS.  NEVAR SMOKE ’MEJATELY AFTER BREAKFAST.”

H.H. “CAN’T REFUSE A TOOTHPICK, THEN, OLD F’LLA?”]

* * * * *

OUR BOOKING-OFFICE.

The Royal Agricultural Society’s Journal.  A Society Journal of a peculiar character, of which this is the Third Series and Third Volume.  It is noticeable for Lord CATHCART’s appeal for the wild birds, which, as addressed to farmers and farm-labourers and armed ploughboys, may be summed up by an adaptation of the refrain of the remonstrance—­so frequently urged by one of Lieutenant COLE’s funny figures—­“Can’t you let the birds alone?” Then Mr. HASTING “On Vermin,” which doesn’t sound nice, though better than if the title were vice versa,—­is most interesting, especially where he tells us that “shrews are harmless.”  If so, why did SHAKSPEARE give us “The Taming of the Shrew” as such a feat?  Professor BROWN writes about disease in sheep, of which paper Lord ARTHUR WEEDON DE GROSSMITH would be absolutely correct in observing, “What rot!” And, by the way, a propos of WEEDON, the Baron has to congratulate the Brothers GROSSMITH on their Diary of a Nobody, republished from Mr. Punch’s pages, but with considerable additions.  The Diary is very funny, not a page of it but affords matter for a good laugh; and yet the story is not without a touch of pathos, as it is impossible not to pity the steady, prim, old-fashioned jog-trot NOBODY, whose son, but just one remove above a regular ’ARRY, treats him with such unfilial rudeness.

It has been complained that the late General Election has not been amusing, and has given birth to little fun.  Let those who feel this most acutely read Mr. R.C.  LEHMANN’s The “Billsbury Election (Leaves from the Diary of a Candidate)." He will tell you how Mr. RICHARD B. PATTLE contested Billsbury in the Constitutional Interest; how he “buttered up Billsbury like fun,” was badgered by Billsbury, heckled by Billsbury, taxed, tithed and tormented by Billsbury, and eventually “chucked” by Billsbury, by the aggravatingly small majority of seventeen.  Also how his “Mother bore up like a Trojan, and said she was prouder of me than ever.”  Just so.

  I hold it true whate’er befall,
  I wrote so, to the Morning Post;
  ’Tis better to have “run” and lost,
  Than never to have run at all.