The town appeared to him an improper place for his preparation, in order to his first mass. He sought out a solitary place, where, being separated from the communication of man, he might enjoy the privacies of God. He found this convenience of a retirement near Monteselice, not far from Padua: it was a miserable thatched cottage, forsaken of inhabitants, and out of all manner of repair. Thus accommodated, he passed forty days, exposed to the injuries of the air, lying on the cold hard ground, rigidly disciplining his body, fasting all the day, and sustaining nature only with a little pittance of bread, which he begged about the neighbourhood; but tasting all the while the sweets of paradise, in contemplating the eternal truths of faith. As his cabin did not unfitly represent to him the stable of Bethlehem, so he proposed to himself frequently the extreme poverty of the infant Jesus, as the pattern of his own; and said within himself, that, since the Saviour of mankind had chosen to be in want of all things, they who laboured after him for the salvation of souls, were obliged, by his example, to possess nothing in this world.
How pleasing soever this loneliness were to him, yet, his forty days being now expired, he left it, to instruct the villages and neighbour-towns, and principally Monteselice, where the people were grossly ignorant, and knew little of the duties of Christianity.
The servant of God made daily exhortations to them, and his penitent aspect gave authority to all his words; insomuch, that only looking on his face, none could doubt but he was come from the wilderness to instruct them in the way to heaven. He employed himself during the space of two or three months in that manner: for, though there was no appearance that any vessel should set sail for the Holy Land, yet Ignatius and his disciples, who had obliged themselves to wait one year in expectation of any such opportunity, would not depart from the territories of the republic till it was totally expired, that they might have nothing to upbraid themselves, in relation to the vow which they had made.
Xavier being thus disposed, both by his retirement, and his exterior employments, at length said his first mass at Vicenza; to which place Ignatius had caused all his company to resort; and he said it with tears flowing in such abundance, that his audience could not refrain from mixing their own with his.
His austere, laborious life, joined with so sensible a devotion, which often makes too great an impression on the body, so much impaired the strength of his constitution, that he fell sick, not long after his first mass. He was carried into one of the own hospitals, which was so crowded, and so poor, that Xavier had in it but the one half of a wretched bed, and that too in a chamber which was open on every side. His victuals were no better than his lodging, and never was sick man more destitute of human succours. But, in requital, heaven was not wanting to him.