An attenuated disciple of the ill-paid art which has been described as one embracing the “delightful task which teaches the young idea how to shoot,” in a fit of despair, being but little skilled in the above sporting accomplishment, endeavoured to cheat nature of its right of killing by trying the efficacy of a small hanging match, in which he suicidically “doubled” the character of criminal and Jack Ketch.  Upon being asked by the redoubtable Civic Peter what he meant by such conduct, he attempted to urge the propriety of the proceeding according to the scholastic rules of the ancients.  “It may,” replied Sir Peter, “be very well for those chaps to hang themselves, as they are out of my jurisdiction; but I’ll let you see you are wrong, as

[Illustration:  A GRAMMARIAN DECLINING TO BE.]

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PUNCH’S LITERARY INTELLIGENCE.

We understand that the Author of “Jack Sheppard,” &c., is about to publish a new Romance, in three volumes, post octavo, to be called “James Greenacre; or, the Hero of Paddington.”

We are requested by Mr. Catnach, of Seven Dials, to state that he has a few remaining copies of “All round my Hat” on sale.  Early application must be made, to prevent disappointment.  Mr. C. has also to inform the public that an entirely new collection of the most popular songs is now in the press, and will shortly be published, price One Halfpenny.

Mr. Grant, the author of “Random Recollections,” is, it is said, engaged in writing a new work, entitled “Quacks as they are,” and containing copious extracts from all his former publications, with a portrait of himself.

“An Essay on False Wigs,” written by Lord John Russell, and dedicated to Mr. Wakley, M.P., may shortly be expected.

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PUNCH’S THEATRE.

THE UNITED SERVICE.

The man who wishes to study an epitome of human character—­who wants to behold choice samples of “all sorts and conditions of men”—­to read out of a small, a duodecimo edition of the great book of life—­must take a season’s lodgings at a Cheltenham, a Harrowgate, or a Brighton boarding-house.  There he will find representatives of all kinds of eccentricities,—­members of every possible lodge of “odd fellows” that Folly has admitted of her crew—­mixed up with everyday sort of people, sharpers, schemers, adventurers, fortune-hunters, male and female—­widows, wags, and Irishmen.  Hence, as the “proper study of mankind is man,” a boarding-house is the place to take lessons;—­even on the score of economy, as it is possible to live decently at one of these refuges for the destitute for three guineas a-week, exclusive, however, of wine, servants, flirtation, and other extras.