In China, mind, and such outlandish places,
A gentleman who wishes to
be wed
Looks round about among the pretty faces,
Nor for a moment doubts they
may be had
For asking; and if any of them “nay”
says,
He has his remedy as soon
as said—
For, when the bridegrooms disapprove what
they do,
They teach them manners with the bastinado.
Near Te-pott’s palace lived an old
Chinese—
About as poor a man as could
be known
In lands where guardians leave them to
their ease,
Nor pen the poor up in bastilles
of stone:
He got a livelihood by picking teas;
And of possessions worldly
had but one—
But one—the which, the reader
must be told,
Was a fair daughter seventeen years old.
She was a lovely little girl, and one
To charm the wits of both
the high and the low;
And Te-pott’s ancient heart was
lost and won
In less time than ’twould
take my pen to tell how:
So, as he was quite an experienced son-
In-law, and, too, a very wily
fellow,
To make Hy-son his friend was no hard
matter, I
Ween, with that specific for parents—flattery.
But, when they two had settled all between
Themselves, and Te-pott thought
that he had caught her,
He found how premature his hopes had been
Without the approbation of
the daughter—
Who talk’d with voice so loud and
wit so keen,
That he thought all his Mrs.
T’s had taught her;
And, finding he was in the way there rather,
He left her to be lectured by her father.
“Pray, what were women made for”
(so she said,
Though Heaven forbid I join
such tender saying),
“If they to be accounted are as
dead,
And strangled if they ever
are caught straying?
Tis well to give us diamonds for the head,
And silken gauds for festival
arraying;
But where of dress or diamonds is the
use
If we mayn’t go and show them? that’s
the deuce!”
The father answer’d, much as fathers
do
In cases of like nature here
in Britain,
Where fathers seldom let fortunes slip
through
Their fingers, when they think
that they can get one;
He said a many things extremely true—
Proving that girls are fine
things to be quit on,
And that, could she accommodate her views
to it,
She would find marriage very nice when
used to it.
Now, ’tis no task to talk a woman
into
Love, or a dance, or into
dressing fine—
No task, I’ve heard, to talk her
into sin too;
But, somehow, reason don’t
seem in her line.
And so Miss Hy-son, spite of kith and
kin too,
Persisting such a husband
to decline—
The eager mandarin issued a warrant,
And got her apprehended by her parent.