John then wiped his lips in the table-cloth, and proceeded to inform the company of a fact that was universally understood, that they had met there to celebrate the first dental dawn of the heir of Applebite.  “I have only to refer you,” said uncle John, “to the floor of the next room for the response to my request—­namely, that you will drain your glasses; and, in the words of nephew Agamemnon Collumpsion Applebite, ’partake of our dental delight.’” This eloquent address was followed by immense cheering and a shower of sherry bottoms, which the gentlemen in their “entusymusy” scattered around them as Hesperus is reported to dispense his tee-total drops.

Nothing could be going on better—­no woman could feel prouder than Mrs. Waddledot, when—­we hope you don’t anticipate the catastrophe—­when two of the Argand lamps gave olfactory demonstrations of dissolution.  Sperm oil is a brilliant illuminator, but we never knew any one except an Esquimaux, or a Russian, who preferred it to lavender-water as a perfume.  Old John was in a muddle of misery—­evidently

[Illustration:  LOOKING DOWN UPON HIS LUCK.—­]

and was only relieved from his embarrassment by the following fortunate occurrence:—­

By-the-bye, we have just recollected that we have an invitation to dinner.  Reader—­au revoir.

* * * * *

NEW WORKS NOW IN THE PRESS.

An Abstract and Brief Chronicle of the Times.  Very small duodecimo.  By Mr. ROEBUCK.

A New Dissertation on the Anatomy of the Figures of the Multiplication Table.  By JOSEPH HUME.

Outlines of the Late Ministry, after Ten Years (Teniers).  By Lord
MELBOURNE.

Recollections of Place.  By Lord JOHN RUSSELL.

Mythological Tract upon the Heathen Deity Cupid.  By Lord PALMERSTON.

Explanatory Annotations on the Abstruse Works of the late Joseph (vulgo Joe) Miller.  With a humorous etching of his tombstone, and Original Epitaph.  By Colonel SIBTHORP.

Also, by the same Author, an Ornithological Treatise on the various descriptions of Water-fowl; showing the difference between Russia and other Ducks, and why the former are invariably sold in pairs.

A few words on Indefinite Subjects, supposed to be Sir Robert Peel’s Future Intentions.  By Mr. WAKLEY.

* * * * *

AMERICAN CONGRESS.

We hasten to lay before our readers the following authentic reports of the latest debates in the United States’ Congress, which have been forwarded to us by our peculiarly and especially exclusive Reporters.