STATUE.—­Bah! no nonsense, Bob, with me!  Put on your hat, and come over here, close to the railings, while I have a little private confab with you.  So, you have been called in at last?

PEEL.—­Yes.  Her Majesty has done me the honour to command my services; and actuated by a sincere love of my country, I obeyed the wishes of my Royal Mistress, and accepted office; though, if I had consulted my own inclinations, I should have preferred the quiet path of private—­

STATUE.—­Humbug!  You forget yourself, Bob; you are not now at Tamworth, or in the house, but talking to an old hand that knows every move on the political board,—­you need have no disguise with me.  Come, be candid for once, and tell me, what are your intentions?

PEEL.—­Why, then, candidly, to keep my place as long as I can—­

STATUE.—­Undoubtedly; that is the first duty of every patriotic minister!  But the means, Bob?

PEEL—­Oh!  Cant—­cant—­nothing but cant!  I shall talk of my feeling for the wants of the people, while I pick their pockets; bestow my pity upon the manufacturers, while I tax the bread that feeds their starving families; and proclaim my sympathy with the farmers, while I help the arrogant landlords to grind them into the dust.

STATUE.—­Ah!  I perceive yon understand the true principles of legislation.  Now, I once really felt what you only feign.  In my time, I attempted to carry out my ideas of amelioration, and wanted to improve the moral and physical condition of the people, but—­

PEEL.—­You failed.  Few gave you credit for purely patriotic motives—­and still fewer believed you to be sincere in your professions.  Now, my plan is much easier, and safer.  Give the people fair promises—­they don’t cost much—­but nothing besides promises; the moment you attempt to realise the hopes you have raised, that moment you raise a host of enemies against yourself.

STATUE.—­But if you make promises, the nation will demand a fulfilment of them.

PEEL.—­I have an answer ready for all comers—­“Wait awhile!” ’Tis a famous soother for all impatient grumblers.  It kept the Whigs in office for ten years, and I see no reason why it should not serve our turn as long.  Depend upon it, “Wait awhile” is the great secret of Government.

STATUE.—­Ah!  I believe you are right.  I now see that I was only a novice in the trade of politics.  By the bye, Bob, I don’t at all like my situation here; ’tis really very uncomfortable to be exposed to all weathers—­scorched in summer, and frost-nipped in winter.  Though I am only a statue, I feel that I ought to be protected.

PEEL.—­Undoubtedly, my dear sir.  What can I do for you?

STATUE.—­Why, I want to get into the Abbey, St. Paul’s, or Drury Lane. 
Anywhere out of the open air.

PEEL.—­Say no more—­it shall be done.  I am only too happy to have it in my power to serve the statue of a man to whom his country is so deeply indebted.