We, who are conversant with all the mysteries of the flats’ side of the green curtain, beg to assure our readers, that the Punch scene hath taken wing, and that the dressing-room of the above-named characters will no longer be redolent of the fumes of compounded bowls.  We may here remark that, had our hint of last season been attended to, the Punch would have still been continued:—­Mr. Harley would not consent to have the flies picked out of the sugar.  Rumour is busy with the suggestion that for this reason, and this only, Keeley seceded from the establishment.

[Illustration]

We think it exceedingly unwise in the management not to have secured the services of Madame Corsiret for the millinery department.  Mr. Wilson still supplies the wigs.  We have not as yet been able to ascertain to whom the swords have been consigned.  Mr. Emden’s assistant superintends the blue-fire and thunder, but it has not transpired who works the traps.

With such powerful auxiliaries, we can promise Mr. C. Mathews a prosperous season.

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THE AMENDE HONORABLE.

  Quoth Will, “On that young servant-maid
    My heart its life-string stakes.” 
  “Quite safe!” cries Dick, “don’t be afraid—­
    She pays for all she breaks.”

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PROVIDING FOR EVIL DAYS.

The iniquities of the Tories having become proverbial, the House of Lords, with that consideration for the welfare of the country, and care for the morals of the people, which have ever characterised the compeers of the Lord Coventry, have brought in a bill for the creation of two Vice-Chancellors.  Brougham foolishly proposed an amendment, considering one to be sufficient, but found himself in a singular minority when the House

[Illustration:  DIVIDED ON THE MOTION.]

* * * * *

In the Egyptian room of the British Museum is a statue of the deity IBIS, between two mummies.  This attracted the attention of Sibthorp, as he lounged through the room the other day with a companion.  “Why,” said his friend, “is that statue placed between the other two?” “To preserve it to be sure,” replied the keenly-witted Sib.  “You know the old saying teaches us, ‘In medio tutissimus Ibis.’”

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PUNCH’S THEATRE.

THE LIFE AND DEATH OF JAMES DAWSON.

[Illustration:  M]Mercy on us, what a code of morality—­what a conglomeration of plots (political, social, and domestic)—­what an exemplar of vice punished and virtue rewarded—­is the “Newgate Calendar!” and Newgate itself! what tales might it not relate, if its stones could speak, had its fetters the gift of tongues!