* * * * *

SHALL GREAT OLYMPUS TO A MOLEHILL STOOP?

Some difficulty has arisen as to the production of Knowles’s new play at the Haymarket Theatre.  Mr. Charles Kean and Miss Helen Faucit having objected to hear the play read, “because their respective parts had not been previously submitted to them.”—­Sunday Times.—­[We are of opinion that they were decidedly right.  One might as well expect a child to spell without learning the alphabet, as either of the above persons to understand Knowles, unless enlightened by a long course of previous instruction.]

* * * * *

THE LETTER OF INTRODUCTION.

    [From a MS. drama called the “COURT OF VICTORIA.”

Scene in Windsor Castle.

[Her Majesty discovered sitting thoughtfully at an escrutoire.—­

Enter the LORD CHAMBERLAIN.]

LORD CHAMBERLAIN.—­May it please your Majesty, a letter from the Duke of
Wellington.

THE QUEEN (opens the letter.)—­Oh! a person for the vacant place of
Premier—­show the bearer in, my lord. [Exit LORD CHAMBERLAIN.

THE QUEEN (muses).—­Sir Robert Peel—­I have heard that name before, as connected with my family.  If I remember rightly, he held the situation of adviser to the crown in the reign of Uncle William, and was discharged for exacting a large discount on all the state receipts; yet Wellington is very much interested in his favour.

Enter the LORD CHAMBERLAIN, who ushers in SIR ROBERT, and then retires.  As he is going—­]

LORD CHAMBERLAIN (aside).—­If you do get the berth, Sir Robert, I hope you’ll not give me warning. [Exit.

SIR ROBERT (looking demurely).—­Hem!

[The Queen regards him very attentively.]

THE QUEEN (aside).—­I don’t much like the looks of the fellow—­that affectation of simplicity is evidently intended to conceal the real cunning of his character. (Aloud).  You are of course aware of the nature and the duties of the situation which you solicit?

SIR ROBERT.—­Oh, yes, your Majesty; I have filled it before, and liked it very much.

THE QUEEN.—­It’s a most responsible post, for upon your conduct much of the happiness of my other servants depends.

SIR ROBERT.—­I am aware of that, your Majesty; but as no one can hope to please everybody, I will only answer that one half shall be perfectly satisfied.

THE QUEEN.—­You have recently returned from Tamworth?

SIR ROBERT.—­Yes, your Majesty.

THE QUEEN.—­We will dispense with forms.  At Tamworth, you have been practising as a quack doctor?

SIR ROBERT.—­Yes, madam; I was brought up to doctoring, and am a professor of sleight-of-hand.