It being now an established axiom that every member goes into Parliament for the sole purpose of advancing his own private interest, and not, as has been ignorantly believed, for the benefit of his country or the constituency he represents, it becomes a matter of vast importance to those individuals who have not had the advantage of long experience in the house, to be informed of the mode usually adopted by honourable members in the discharge of their legislative duties.  With this view the writer, who has, for the last thirty years, done business on both sides of the house, and always with the strictest regard to the main chance, has collected a number of hints for the guidance of juvenile members, of which the following are offered as a sample:—­

HINT 1.—­It is a vulgar error to imagine that a man, to be a member of Parliament, requires either education, talents, or honesty:  all that it is necessary for him to possess is—­impudence and humbug!

HINT 2.—­When a candidate addresses a constituency, he should promise everything.  Some men will only pledge themselves to what their conscience considers right.  Fools of this sort can never hope to be

[Illustration:  RETURNED BY A LARGE MAJORITY.]

HINT 3.—­Oratory is a showy, but by no means necessary, accomplishment in the house.  If a member knows when to say “Ay” or “No,” it is quite sufficient for all useful purposes.

HINT 4.—­If, however, a young member should be seized with, the desire of speaking in Parliament, he may do so without the slighest regard to sense, as the reporters in the gallery are paid for the purpose of making speeches for honourable members; and on the following morning he may calculate on seeing, in the columns of the daily papers, a full report of his splendid

[Illustration:  MAIDEN SPEECH.]

HINT 5.—­A knowledge of the exact time to cry “Hear, hear!” is absolutely necessary.  A severe cough, when a member of the opposite side of the house is speaking, is greatly to be commended; cock-crowing is also a desirable qualification for a young legislator, and, if judiciously practised, cannot fail to bring the possessor into the notice of his party.

HINT 6.—­The back seats in the gallery are considered, by several members, as the most comfortable for taking a nap on.

HINT 7.—­If one honourable member wishes to tell another honourable member that he is anything but a gentleman, he should be particular to do so within the walls of the house—­as, in that case, the Speaker will put him under arrest, to prevent any unpleasant consequences arising from his hasty expressions.

HINT 8.—­If a member promise to give his vote to the minister, he must in honour do so—­unless he happen to fall asleep in the smoking-room, and so gets shut out from the division of the house.

HINT 9.—­No independent member need trouble himself to understand the merits of any question before the house.  He may, therefore, amuse himself at Bellamy’s until five minutes before the Speaker’s bell rings for a division.