among them?  Or, is it, as the mild and humane Judge P——­ would prove to us, a necessary result of the Statutes at Large; and can it be rendered universal only by sending out Jack Ketch as a missionary—­by the introduction of rope-walks in foreign parts, and the erection of gallows all over the world?  Or, is it, as the Archbishop of Canterbury contests, to be achieved solely by the dissemination of bishops, and by diffusing among the poor benighted negroes the blessings of sermons, tithes, and church rates?  Christianity, it has, on the other hand, been asserted, is the only practical system of civilisation; but this is manifestly the idea of a visionary.  For ourselves, we must confess we incline to the opposite opinion; and think either the bishops or Jack Ketch (we hardly know which we prefer) by far the more rational means.  Indeed, when we consider the high state of civilisation which this country has attained, and imagine for an instant the awful amount of distress which would necessarily accrue from the general practice of Christianity among us, even for a week, it is clear that the idea never could be entertained by any moral or religious, mind.  A week’s Christianity in England!  What would become of the lawyer, and parsons?  It is too terrible to contemplate.

* * * * *

NOUVEAU MANUEL DU VOYAGEUR.

These are the continental-trip days.  All the world will be now a-touring.  But every one is not a Dr. Bowring, and it is rather convenient to be able to edge in a word now and then, when these rascally foreigners will chatter in their own beastly jargon.  Ignorant pigs, not to accustom themselves to talk decent English!  Il Signor Marchese Cantini, the learned and illustrious author of “Hi, diddlo-diddlino!  Il gutto e’l violino!”, has just rendered immense service to the trip-loving natives of these lovely isles, by preparing a “Guide to Conversation,” that for utility and correctness of idiom surpasses all previous attempts of the same kind.  With it in one hand, and a bagful of Napoleons or Zecchini in the other, the biggest dunce in London—­nay, even a schoolmaster—­may travel from Boulogne to Naples and back, with the utmost satisfaction to himself, and with substantial profit to the people of these barbarous climes.  The following is a specimen of the way in which Il Signor has accomplished his undertaking.  It will be seen at a glance how well he has united the classical with the utilitarian principle, clothing both in the purest dialect; ex. gr.:—­

THIS IS ENGLISH.  THIS IS FRENCH.  THIS IS ITALIAN.

Does your mother know Madame, votre maman, La vostra signora you’re out? sait-elle que vous madre sa che siete
                         n’etes pas chez vous? uscito di casa?

It won’t do, Mr. Cela nese passera, Questo non fara
Ferguson.  Monsieur Ferguson, cosi, il Signore
                         jamais!  Fergusoni!